


Happiness and collarbone-kisses

by SpookyStar29



Category: NCIS
Genre: Clint is my OC and I love him, Cuddles, F/M, Friendship, Gibbs mentioned, Hope and faith, I love Hollis and she deserves a happy end, Kisses, Love, MintMibbsSlibbsSlollis, OC, Passion, Understanding, lovebirds, there will be "Mibbs" scenes, those two are actual loveballs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:27:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22318612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyStar29/pseuds/SpookyStar29
Summary: * Sometimes good things need to fall apart so great things can happen … *Hollis’ life after Hawaii and how she met the one person she really belonged to …(Short info:This isn’t a “real” NCIS story since it’s about a side character who is now my main character in this one.But I hated how Mibbs ended, I hated Hollis being heartbroken and decided to write her a happy ending since I was also excited to dive into her life and how she met that “doctor at the Walter Reed”)
Relationships: Hollis Mann/Clint Wilson, Jethro Gibbs/Hollis Mann
Comments: 12
Kudos: 12





	1. Unexpected happenings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LavenderAndSnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderAndSnow/gifts), [Just_nele](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_nele/gifts), [moxyphinx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moxyphinx/gifts).



> I know this story doesn’t really fit into NCIS, but since I have friends who’d like to read it I decided to upload it nevertheless … and who knows, maybe there are some more Hollis-fans out there who are happy about it.  
> So for anyone who’d like to see a happy, flirty and in-love Hollis (basically inspired by Susanna who I think is one of the cutest human beings alive)
> 
> It’s cheesy. Completely. Cheesier than I ever though I could write. But I love them and it really helped me overcome Mibbs-heartbreak. 
> 
> So here’s Mint.  
> And later I’ll also put some chapters in where Gibbs and Jack meet the two of them or some behind-the-scenes-scenes with Hollis and Gibbs (remember that "small Batch" Hollis brought him in Season 11? We need to get that down on paper)

She would be happy about the reunion if it were for another reason. At least, he was okay, doing well given the circumstances. 

What Hollis Mann didn’t know was that she’d leave the hospital with something she wouldn’t have imagined receiving that soon. 

The General had been a good friend of hers, so it was a matter of course to visit him and convince herself that he was fine.  
She waited for a car to drive by before crossing the street. Walking through the park she put a strand of her blond hair behind her ear. Hawaii had left its marks on her – she still was maintaining a healthy tan which had turned her eyes into an even lighter, radiating green, her hair was a little lighter, longer and curlier than before, as if the water had contributed to it and changed it so it still clung to her. She was at ease, body and mind relaxed, as if she had undergone some kind of detox. 

It had been the right decision and she would lie if she hadn’t enjoyed it. Walks and early-morning runs on the beach, watching the sun set and rise all over again, learning to dive out in the open, making friends with the locals, spending evenings in bars at the beach or reading while listening to the waves crushing at the shore, enjoying cocktails over cocktails.  
It had helped her. Always the summer girl she knew the sun and the sea had a lot to do with her overcoming a broken heart.  
She wouldn’t blame him, she had promised herself. She had told him so in the letter. And she would never look back to it in melancholy, but appreciate what they had. She would always remember the day they met, how they had challenged each other, the day she had saved his life, when he kissed her and stayed. The evening after their second case where he REALLY stayed.  
She’d call him one day. One day … whenever she was ready.  
She was over it, but she didn’t want any risk.  
Her life had gone through rewind, a new start, a new beginning, and she wouldn’t let anything come between that. 

Right now, the only important thing was that she had a new job and was on her way meeting an old friend.  
General Johnson expected her and welcomed her with this big, bright smile she was still familiar with.  
“General.” She smiled and closed the door. “How are you?”  
“Way better since you’re here, my dear, let me take a look at you.” He made sure to grab her hands and squeeze them tight, looking her up and down in a friendly, polite way.  
He hadn’t changed a bit, nothing about him, neither the twinkle in his eyes nor the energy, and she could even feel it though he was lying in a hospital bed.  
“You look good, Hollis. Shining like the sun.” He padded her hand. “Tell me. How was Hawaii?”

*  
They talked a lot, constantly, mostly he wanted to know every single thing she had done after turning her back to her beloved army, and he listened in awe about her talking about their diving tours where they saw dolphins, turtles, even sharks.  
He was in the middle of telling her about what had happened, how the car had crashed into their convoy which had lead him into that bed, as a knock appeared on the door. General Johnson fell silent and they turned their heads.  
Hollis lifted her eyebrow. She had never seen a doctor that good looking.  
Actually … since Jethro she hadn’t seen another man looking THAT good, not even on Hawaii. Well, she hadn’t been a fan of muscle-flexing guys anyway. Especially since most of them hadn’t even half the six pack she had, and that fact still made her laugh whenever she thought about that. 

“Ah, Hollis, meet Doctor Wilson. He takes good care of me. Probably saved my life.” The Doc smiled and waved aside. “That’s my job, General. But thanks for the compliment.” He squeezed his shoulder as he was near before locking eyes with her.  
“Hi.” She gave him a nod, knowing most doctors here didn’t shake hands. He reciprocated. “Hello. Nice to meet you. It’s good to know our good veterans here get company.”  
“Oh I couldn’t complain.” Johnson grinned broadly which made Hollis sign at the implication and the doctor smirked.  
“Well, why I’m here”, he bridged the situation. “I need to take a look at your wounds, General.” He gave her a slightly insecure look, but the patient seemed to get it. “Oh, of course.” He gave her a pained look. “Hollis, dear, would you mind stepping outside for a moment? I’m sure a pretty woman like you wouldn’t want to look at an old guy’s nether regions”, he laughed. She couldn’t help but join in the chuckle and got up.  
“Sure. I’ll wait outside.” She got up and squeezed his hand. “I’m gonna grab a coffee and be back soon.”  
“Oh, I’ll be stuck to this bed for a while, don’t hurry”, he laughed. 

She left with a smile on her lips but at that time, she didn’t know her lightheadedness wasn’t only caused by her old friend’s humor …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really enjoy writing from Hollis' pov. It's a lot harder than Jack's but I absolutely adore that challenge.  
> I only hope I succeed lol


	2. Coincidences?

She met with her friend two days later and almost ran into his Doctor as they both walked along the same path taking the short way around a corner. Doctor Wilson, she remembered.   
Whatever she had thought about him on their first “encounter” only tourned into a double – damn, he was good looking. But what enchanted her most was his aura, the calm and protectiveness he seemed to exude. That guy was like the archetype of a perfect doctor.   
He was NICE. Just a really nice-looking guy.   
After apologizing and his expression mirroring it, he seemed to remember her, too and gave her a bright smile. 

The third time she saw him was as she entered the room, Johnson gave him a nod and without looking up from the files in his hand, the doctor called: “Miss Mann, hello. Or should I say, Colonel?”  
She wasn’t sure if she should stare at him or General Johnson since he knew her name.   
Not that she was complaining.   
“If you wanna stick with the last-name-thing, it would be “Agent”.”  
She could play the game, too.   
As she stepped around the bed, Doctor Wilson looked up, and smiled at her, again.   
That infectious smile she only realize she had kind of missed in that moment. 

The fourth time was different. Hollis knew Johnson’s wife would pick him up the day after, so she paid him her visit one day earlier. She had accompanied Johnson back to his room after a walk and as she came back after a quick run to the toilet, he was there, too, again.   
Not that she minded. Not at all. 

She wondered as she saw him changing the bandages. She observed the way he was wrapping a new one around Johnson’s arm, telling him about his medical condition and that he would likely to be released in a few days.   
Hm. She wouldn’t have minded her hospital stays if she would have been treated by him …

Hollis’ eyes quickly made out Johnson’s tired face and she knew she should leave. Apparently, she was right, as Doctor Wilson gave her a nod. “I think we should let him rest for a while.”   
She nodded and leaned over to her goodbyes.   
“Tell your wife all best wishes, okay?”, she said and kissed his cheek.   
Johnson smiled at her. “And you, promise me to visit us one day.”  
She stole a glance at doctor and patient and their handshake, admiring once again the affection and kindness Wilson transported. She waved a last time before grabbing the door handle and stepping through, holding it open for him.   
“Do all Doctors check in for their patents and change their bandages just for nothing?”, she couldn’t help asking as he had closed the door shut.   
Wilson shook his head. “No, not usually.” He scrabbled something on the paper in his hand. “Just wanted to see you again before he’s being dismissed.“  
Hollis stopped. And he frowned. „Did I just say that out loud?“  
She grinned. „Yes. You did.“   
He scratched his head. “Ah, well …” He gave her a sheepish smile. “Does this make me an unprofessional?”  
She shook her head. “No. Not at all. Just human.”   
Overall – his words charmed her.   
“And …” The look in his eyes changed into something Hollis couldn’t quiet describe. “Is it also human if … I’d ask you for a coffee in about ten minutes?”   
Her smile turned into a grin. She really hadn’t expected that day to turn out this way. “That is more than human. It’s a very welcoming surprise.” She straightened herself up. “Where should we meet?” She were lying if that happy smile he gave her – he probably wasn’t even aware of it – didn’t turn her insides into butterflies. “In front of the café, maybe? And I’m apologizing upfront, if I’m late I …”   
She waved off. “Oh don’t worry, I’m just as inconstant in my job as you. I’ll wait.”   
“If I’m not there in half an hour, there has very likely been an incident.” His “no need to wait for me then” hang in the air, unnecessary to be spoken out loud.   
“And we won’t let our date come before a necessary rescue.”   
He smirked. For the first time, he saw a witty, intelligent version of his, not just the gentle and sympathetic one. The butterflies returned.   
Well well … whatever was happening here, she wasn’t opposed to it.   
“So this is a date?”, he asked, voice thick with tease.   
She decided to play along and shrugged. “Maybe. Let’s see how it turns out.” Her words made him stop as well as her – but opposite to him, her sentence had been fully intentional.   
And the way he was looking at her indicated he was either astonished or flustered as well. Or both equally.   
“In that case.” He nodded politely. “See you in a few minutes.”   
She did the same, putting emphasis into her words. “I’ll be there.”

*

“So where do you know the General from?”  
That was the first question he asked as they sat down at a little near the windows.   
“He was my superior. We worked some cases together.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Known him for quite a while now.” She tilted her head. “But I’m pretty sure you already knew that.”  
Doctor Wilson smirked as he ripped open the sugar stick and poured it into his coffee. “Yeah”, he said. “Just wanted to hear it from you. Who knows what’s the truth.”  
She laughed. “Wise move. The guy’s a sly old dog.”  
As he kept on smirking, patiently waiting for her to make a move, she crossed her leg and leaned back into her chair. “What do you want to know?”  
He lifted his arms. “I don’t know. Whatever you would like to tell me.”  
“Okay. Army it is, then.”  
He looked up in interest, nodding to assure he was listening.   
“Almost 23 years. I retired about two years ago.”  
He whistled. “That’s quite some time. And simultaneously, my respect. For making it up to the silver leaf, I mean. I know some Lightbirds who are a lot older than you.”  
“Yep.” She nodded. “Worked my butt off.”  
“Hm.” He leaned over to take a glimpse around the table. “Can’t agree with that.”   
She shook her head at the gesture, wondering what else might be in him that caught her off guard.   
“I guess lately now this is the part where we should probably skip the Doctor-Agent attitude.” As she laughed he reached out his hand. “I’m Clint.”  
She took it, laughter turning into a smile. “Hollis. But you already know that, I guess.”  
“Might have remember the General addressing you with that.” He grinned, then grabbed his cup and gave her another nod. “And what have you been doing since then? After retirement?”

She told him about Hawaii and that she had recently gotten a job at DoD, asked him about his work. They talked for a whole 25 minutes until his beeper rang off. He signed.   
He really SIGNED and Hollis wasn’t quite sure how she should interpret THAT, but she knew it was a sign of annoyance. And that could only mean … he was as reluctant to call of their “coffee date” as she herself was.   
He stole a glimpse on it. “Sorry, I need to go.”   
“Of course. Saving lives is more important than chatter.”  
He got up, emptying his cup, and then shot her look. Suddenly, he looked as if he had nothing to say, completely disoriented, and … nervous.   
“May I … what I mean, is …”  
“Guess a little caffeine at 5 pm after a Thursday of work does no harm. And the coffee is pretty good, will make up a detour on my way back home.”   
He got her implication and spoke in playful baffledness: “That’s exactly my coffee break!”   
She smirked. “Liar.”   
He shrugged, the warm smile returning. “Sometimes you need to put things back so you can enjoy others.”

Only seconds after he left she realized the meaning of his words. And as she stared outside, trying to process what was happening, Hollis Mann knew her life would take a completely different turn from now on.


	3. Does this count as "date"?

The detour wasn’t even that big of a detour, and she arrived even earlier than 5, even getting a space at the parking lot. Since it was early March and late afternoon it was almost freezing, and she was desperately looking forward to that cup of coffee to warm her.   
Of course, the coffee wasn’t the reason she was nervous.   
Hollis Mann and nervous. That hadn’t happened in years, she recalled.   
But, she admitted, a man like Clint Wilson hasn’t EVER happened in her 49 (almost 50) years of walking on this earth, and she had never met anyone like him before. 

She contemplated lining up in the cue already but then saw him running towards her.   
Yes, he was RUNNING.   
She lifted her eyebrow and was in the middle of asking what the matter was as he already spoke: “I am so sorry!”, he welcomed her. “I only got time for about five minutes, and two of those I’ll need to get back to the track.”

She blinked in confusion and as realization settled in, she stared at him. “And you came from the other side of the hospital just …” She wasn’t sure if she should gape or smile like an idiot. “I’m so sorry, I don’t want to you to spend your free time rushing around, you could have told me …”   
“Oh the company is worth it.” He had reached her now, eyes twinkling.   
For a moment she had no idea what to say – so all she did was smile.   
“Let’s get coffee and talk, at least.” And he really actually reached out to place his hand on her back, guiding her in line.   
She had thought she were probably too old to feel that way – apparently that wasn’t the truth when it came to him …

They talked about all and nothing, god and the weather, literally just random stuff that came to their minds. She decided to join him and keep him company while walking back.   
On their way, they passed some other doctors, apparently he knew every single one of them, stopped shortly to talk to one of them about some patient. She turned away politely, not wanting them to involuntarily break doctor’s confidentiality.   
She asked herself if they were wondering about who she was. Sure, it was normal seeing Doctors talk to family members (since she clearly wasn’t a patient, and she wasn’t in her uniform anymore). But it wasn’t usual seeing them strolling along the corridors, both of them coffee in their hands, and laughing as if they’d know each other for years.   
Because yes, it felt that way. That that it were boring, that wasn’t the case. She felt … at ease with him. Feeling “safe” would have been the wrong expression for her to use, but she figured it came close to that.   
And she herself wondered, too, what they were. Because there was definitely SOMETHING. 

Never ever had she had a guy who’d run through a hospital just to not stand her up and to see her.   
Damn, that charmed her. 

Minutes later – sadly - they reached a door with the inscription “Private”. To her own surprise she didn’t even feel a big reluctance and disappointment. Somehow she knew they’d meet again. 

She hadn’t analyzed herself about upfront scrabbling her phone number on a piece of paper and keeping it in her poker since lunchbreak. Now, she was glad for it.   
He had straightforward told her he had wanted to see her. So now it was her turn to keep that “tension” alive.   
“Next time you call me whenever YOU are free, not the other around, okay?”   
This time it was her to leave him standing. And as she felt his eyes on her, staring holes into her back and probably still staring at her number, she found herself smirking in victory.


	4. You just make me feel alive

He really called.   
He did.   
And asked her if she wanted to have dinner.   
OF COURSE SHE WANTED TO HAVE DINNER. Actually she wanted a lot more than that. 

Hollis found herself smiling like a teenager and staring at the ceiling, phone still in her hands. 

This was really happening. She had no idea what the evening would bring, but she would enjoy every second of it. 

The game was on. 

*

She only wore dresses on special occasions, and that was a special occasion. Heels she resisted, one – she didn’t want to look THAT obvious, and second – it was too cold. So she settled for black tights, her most elegant half-boots and her burgundy colored dress. It wasn’t special at all but that allowed her to put on some makeup and focus on her hair – anything else would make her feel superficial, as if she were trying to hide something from herself. And she was, well, natural. No hoo-haa. Simple yet elegant. 

She was never a woman who could really be surprised by anything. But as she realized he was wearing a suit and admitting he looked exceptionally handsome, she admitted maybe, just maybe, she should change her perception of being totally “unphased”. 

But she wasn’t the only one was impressed. When Clint helped her out of her jacket and they had taken a seat at their table, he looked into her eyes, smiling truefully.   
“You look amazing.”   
She shrugged it off even though the softness in his words – and the meaning of it, of course - did have quiet an impact. “Felt like it. You don’t get to dress up nicely in the army or at DoD.” She locked eyes with him. It was a comforting, soft gaze they both shared, and she hadn’t had that in a long time.   
“You don’t need it, just to make that clear.”   
Sheepishly smiling she turned away from him, and he used the moment to open the menu card.

“Clint or Clinton?”, she asked as they had decided what they wanted to eat. Even the silence between them wasn’t strained or uncomfortable, and she didn’t feel like being in need of small-talk. She hadn’t felt that ever since she had first spoken to him, actually.   
“Just Clint. My father came from Ireland, mother is English.”  
That caught her attention. “Wow.” Smirking, she crossed her arms on the table. “Tell me you can dance the Irish way.”  
He laughed. “I actually was pretty good in my younger years, not sure if that’s still the case.”  
“Oh, you could show me some day. I’d voluntarily play judge.” She knew exactly what she was doing. The interesting part about him, though, was that he seemed to notice, but didn’t seemed to bother it much.   
So she could definitely cross him from the list of “One-night-stand guys”. Yes, she had something like that. Ranges of men. Different characters and how to notice them.   
He laughed. “The patients would definitely love it.”   
“Oh, not only them.”   
As he caught her eyes she saw the wheels in his head turning, and she bit her lip, turning her attention on a wrinkle in her dress and smoothed it.   
Hell, this was going A LOT better than she had expected …

“Is there a reason your parents called you Hollis?” She smiled as he took on where she had left off after giving their orders.   
“Apparently I was a little beasty. Holly tree. I really am one. Can be. Thorny.” She spoke the last word with emphasis and not necessarily with pride.   
“They are beautiful but can hurt, true.” He tilted his head, smiling. “You really are one.”   
Her smile faded simultaneously. “Oh, great if you can say that after us barely talking.” She wanted to make it sound uplifting but wasn’t sure if she succeeded.   
Clint seemed to get her uneasiness. “It just means they’re great at defending themselves.” The softness in his words made her look up. His smile was faint, but there was a glimmer in his eyes, and she could swear it didn’t originate from the lights. “And they are beautiful. That is very true.”  
She blushed. She really, actually blushed.   
And Clint caught her, of course.   
“What?”, he asked, laughing.   
She emptied her glass with a big gulp and rested her hand on the table for footing. “Just not used to that.” She shrugged. “I haven’t been on date for a very long time.”   
Now it was Clint’s time to lift his chin, smirking. “So this IS a date.”  
She laughed. “I actually really enjoy talking to someone who seems to be just as forward as myself.”   
He shrugged, smiling. “It’s the easiest way to avoid complications. And I guess we are too old to dance around words.” He stilled, rowing back. “Me, at least.”   
“Oh I’m definitely not much younger than you, believe me.”   
He lifted his hands in surrendering. “Don’t make me step into the puddle, I’m not gonna ask you about your age.”   
She laughed and threw her hair back over her shoulder. “Sorry, old habit about getting people to say things they actually didn’t want.”   
“That brings us to something I wanted to ask you earlier.” He placed down the glass of water after taking a sip. “LTC. That’s pretty high ranked, right?”   
They had had a similar conversation before but she didn’t mind it. Maybe she was a little proud, maybe she even prided herself with it.   
Na, no maybe. She did.   
“Well, depends on the observer…”  
“Just say it is.” He gave her an encouraging nod, smirking behind his glass.   
She got his implication. “Yes, it is.”   
This time, they both shared a laugh. 

They deepened their talk from the days earlier. She had always been a curious person – that was probably one of those reasons why she and a certain agent didn’t work out. 

With Clint, it did seem to work perfectly. Every ongoing minute, she felt more at ease, and every second she seemed to like the guy more. He talked about his work and the past with such passion and love that she couldn’t help but ADMIRE the man in front of her. She just hoped she wasn’t drooling and staring at him with heart shaped eyes, because in her insides, she felt like doing EXACTLY that. There was something incredibly attractive about a guy talking about his work in a passionate, yet not at all boastful way.   
And kids. She herself, for example, had never been a kids person – hell, she had never been a “typical” woman – but hearing him telling her about those times he was in contact with them … just proved to her, again, that he was indeed a great guy.

*

They spoke less over dinner which didn’t keep them from teasing and mocking and laughing just as they did before, and as their waiter came later on to ask them if they wanted desert, she almost felt some kind of nostalgia since she sensed the evening was slowly coming towards an end.   
Or maybe not … 

No. Not today.   
She had never been shy, with nothing, but with him, it was different.   
She liked him. But she didn’t have the hots for him. At least … not THAT much.  
And he was definitely no one she wanted to mess up with because of a stupid one-night-stand. 

She decided for a drink, a heavy one, and she didn’t miss Clint’s raised eyebrow and, once again, felt herself falling just a little more for him.   
His compassion. 

“Oh don’t worry, I’m completely sober when I’m drunk.” That got a laugh out of him and she felt that weird feeling of pride dwelling up inside of her for being the reason.  
There were women who felt proud when they could seduce their men. For her, it was making him laugh.   
He was different, oh so different.   
“Alcohol doesn’t have an effect on me. Well, not on my mind at least.” She pointed her finger at him. “Even though I may seem drunk, I see and hear everything.” She took another sip. “One day I showed up to CID with way to much in my blood, but nobody even noticed it.”   
Clint chuckled. “Well, just in case, I’ll be there to catch you if you had a little too much.”  
She stilled, felt her heart pound. “What?”  
He cleared his throat. For the first time he looked and seemed anxious. “Sorry. Bad choice of words. I … I didn’t want to sound postulating.”  
“So what did you mean by it?” She tried to put a little tease into it but felt herself being equally nervous.   
“Uh, I …” A shy smile. She had never met a guy who could look “shy”. 

If they were alone, if she were about twenty years younger, she would literally get up by now and kiss him, over the table, not caring if they’d get thrown out. 

He signed, laughing nervously. And she knew it. This time, it was her task to make the move.   
“Hey.” She reached out and grabbed his hand.  
For the first time. And whatever she wanted to say got stuck in her throat.   
She sensed him looking at their hands, then looking at her, and her skin felt as if it were burning. Her heart started beating, her throat constricted, heat shot into her face.   
She looked up to meet his eyes.   
Wrong. She HAD the hots for him. 

Then, without another word, his lips curled upward.   
“You sure you didn’t drink too much?”, he whispered lightheartedly. A chuckle escaped her throat. Thank god for the guy making her not feel awkward.   
“The alcohol’s not the reason.” She felt her cheeks grow hotter, redder.   
Not obvious at all.   
“So what is it?”  
She glanced at him, feeling her confidence creep back into her bones from where it had been hiding within the last minutes. “Have you always been like this or are you already picking up bad habits of mine?”  
He chuckled and reached for his own glass. “What do you mean?”   
“Probing people to speak up.”  
Clint, as if he were contemplating the answer, tilted his head. “One or the other.” They locked eyes again. “Would it be bad?”  
She knew she needed to say something, the “no” already on her tongue, but she couldn’t speak, not with his eyes on her in that way. 

Her overly attentive senses, years of military training, made out a movement out of the corner of her eye. Her hand cramped and as their waiter appeared next to them to bring their bill which they had requested earlier, she wasn’t sure if it was her who loosened the grip. 

When Clint reached into his pocket she opened her mouth, and he gave her a glare. “Don’t you dare, I got this.”   
She closed her mouth and signed, but she wouldn’t back down that easily. “Let me at least contribute something.” Before he could say another word she took a glimpse on the price, grabbed her purse rummaged through it and placed it in his hand.   
“Here. Tip goes on me.”   
The young guy gave her a radiating smile and did a little bow. “Thank you, Ma’am.”  
She grinned. Ma’am. The last guy calling her “Ma’am” had been Agent McGee … 

While Clint took care of the bill she decided to stare out of the window, trying to put the mess in her head back into a solid piece and think straight.   
Apparently, “alcohol” and “Clint Wilson” were a dangerous combination. 

“Enjoy your evening, you two.” His voice brought her back to reality, almost snapping out of a bubble of thoughts. She gave him a nod and he excused himself, disappearing. And leaving the two of them alone.   
Suddenly, she felt INCREDIBLY awkward.   
“Oh god, looks freezing outside.”   
You are NOT going to talk about the WEATHER now Hollis, are you stupid?  
“Maybe you’re still in Hawaii mode. How long has it been since you’re back?”  
She looked back at him. Only to realize the feeling inside of her hadn’t vanished. “Five months, I guess. Feels slightly less.”  
The guy was an angel for rescuing her. 

Somehow they regained their easy chatter, but now there was something else in the room, something unspoken, something … tickling.   
As he helped her into her coat, all she wanted was lean back, fall into his embrace and close her eyes. If he would have stood there just two seconds longer, she might have really given in.

*

He drove her home in silence, but at least in wasn’t a strained one, more as if each of them were lost in their own thoughts. Hollis definitely was. She had no idea which ones, but it clearly had something to do with the What-now-question. 

All she knew was she wanted to kiss him. 

Unwillingly, her mind travelled back to Jethro.   
She had been bluntly upfront with him, and now she was scared of doing the same. Why? Clint was a lot more of a chatter than him, and much easier to talk about stuff like that, and what they had been doing over dinner could really be seen as the definition of “eye-sex”, but now … no, she couldn’t just do that.   
Because she was afraid. Because she was afraid she would mess this up. And with him, she really didn’t want to mess anything up. 

They arrived in front of her building just about twelve minutes later. He accompanied her, and something in the way that he was walking a view centimeter behind her made her heart warm. He wasn’t postulating at all, but he didn’t let her leave as if he didn’t care, either. 

She signed – only to realize it wasn’t just in her imagination but had happened in real.   
Clint next to her smiled. “You okay?”  
She took out her key but didn’t plug it in.   
“Yes”, she breathed out. “Just …” She caught his eyes.   
Now or never. You’ve never been one to dance around a subject, so don’t get started with that now.   
“I’m just a little sad the evening is already over.” 

Please don’t say anything like “It doesn’t have to be” since I will be doing something then, something really bad and inappropriate …

“Do you want to come upstairs?”   
The question was out of her mouth before she could even think about it. 

Silence. Her heart beat nervously, her body was tense, and it wasn’t because of the cold.   
Why did she ask that? Seriously, what exactly had been her motive?  
She didn’t even KNOW what she wanted. 

“Do you want it?”   
The question coming from him hit her unprepared. She opened her mouth even though she suddenly didn’t know what to say. The smile on his lips was gentle and understanding, but also kind of … stern and honest and thoughtful.   
“We both know what will happen if I step through that door.” 

Their eyes locked. A million unspoken things ran through her mind, she knew it was in his thoughts, too, and still they both knew exactly what he meant. 

No, she couldn’t ruin this. THEY couldn’t ruin this. He wasn’t like that.   
And with him, she wasn’t like that, either. 

“I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this if you’re not 100 percent sure”, he said silently.   
Hollis closed her eyes to prevent the tears from escaping. 

Why was he so perfect? Why did it seem as if he could look right into her soul and know what she felt?   
“Thank you.”  
A little tilt of his lips. “For what? That for now, feelings are more important for me than passion? For wanting your soul, not just your body?”  
Something in his words made her spin and lit her on fire, her heart pounded. She looked up to meet his eyes, his brown eyes soft and compassionate.   
“Do you?” Her voice sounded equally breathless as she felt, barely more than a whisper.   
His smile was gone. Instead it was replaced by seriousness. It wasn’t a stern one. More like … pure honesty.   
“Yes. Remember my words about being too old to not take chances?”  
She nodded. “I do.”   
“Well.” He took a step closer, so close she could see his breath forming little clouds. “I like you, Hollis.”   
If she hadn’t already looked into his eyes, she was staring now. And she didn’t hesitate a second answering.   
“I like you too, Clint Wilson.” She smiled. “Very much.” 

Another few seconds of silence faded, until he reached out and caressed her cheek. Her eyes fell close at the tender touch and she fought against the urge to lean in and kiss his palm. 

The leaning-in-thing she did. And she smiled.   
“Well then. I got your number, you got mine.” She could her the same smile in his words. “I guess it’s … till we meet again.”   
She opened her eyes again. “And we will.”   
She held his gaze, he did the same. And then he leaned in and Hollis held her breath as he kissed her cheek.   
“I’ll see you”, he whispered, something in his tone that made her heart flutter and her breath stop.   
As he straightened up again and took a step back to leave, she didn’t think about it, she FELT it. She reached out, grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him back. Their lips locked, his arm was around her within seconds, and he kissed her back. 

Suddenly she felt a good thirty years younger, like the college-girl making out with her first, real boyfriend. With the exception that THIS was a thousand times better, and that they weren’t really making out, just … using their kiss to tell them both what they felt, because words something weren’t enough.   
There were situations which weren’t made for words. That was one of them. 

They were older and they were wiser (she hoped, at least). Maybe that was why it felt so perfect, so real, so right. That they both knew how to kiss properly certainly helped, both of them giving the other one moments they could take the lead and then turning it around, too, and that he was holding her tight but not clutching at her clothes was another positive aspect. 

One would not believe it, but time had taught her to feel. To feel the REAL things, to appreciate the true, important ones and to leave behind those that only dragged you down.   
And this, this moment, that kiss, it was EVERYTHING. 

Some when, she didn’t know when, they broke apart. She kept her eyes closed for a moment to catch her breath, processing that this had really just happened.   
“Wow, I didn’t quiet expect that”, he got out.   
She giggled and looked up, smiling brightly.   
“I didn’t plan it, though.”   
“But I’m so glad you did.”   
Both grinning they kissed again, and again, and again, barely touching each other this time. She practically molded against him and he held her close – even as they just stood still, hugging each other, her face was on his chest and she could feel him breathing.   
“I know it sounds like a clichee, but you are the most fascinating and beautiful woman I have ever seen and met.”  
She knew he couldn’t see her smile but somehow she knew he felt it. “You know, I lost hope.” She pulled back just enough to look up at him. “I lost hope that men like you still exist.”   
His eyes glimmered. “I won’t always be like this, you know.” He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. Shit that was cute. “Hell, I have my flaws too.”  
She smiled lovingly. “Don’t we all?”  
“But I’ll promise I will try to be the man you deserve.”   
“No need to try. You already are.” She deepened her gaze. “You have been since the moment I’ve first spoken to you.”   
“Love at first sight?”, he chuckled.   
She nudged his nose. “Maybe.”

They stayed like this for another few minutes, forgetting everything around them. Hollis felt the world could crumble down around them, everything probably in flames, and she still wouldn’t move.   
In that moment – lately in that moment – she knew nothing would drag her away from him. Nothing. 

And if Hollis Mann made a promise, she would keep it. 

They said goodbye with a last, sweet kiss. And as they parted, Hollis knew their heart would never. They were joined. 

*

She had changed into PJs, brushed her teeth, got ready for bed, as her phone rang.   
She grinned like an idiot as she read the callers idea. She pressed the green button and sat down back on the couch.   
“I’m sorry for not saying this earlier, but you’re a great kisser.”  
She felt her cheeks redden at that clearly not expected compliment and fiddled with the blanket.   
A chuckle from the other side of the line appeared. “What? No laugh?”  
She bit her lip to not back down that easily. “Why?”  
“Because I wanted to hear it. You’ve got a beautiful laugh.”  
She smirked. “Make sure to prepare some good reasons for me to let it hear you.”   
“Oh I will. Has become my new priority of daily-to-dos.”  
Closing her eyes for a moment, she signed. “Do you actually know how sweet you are?”   
THAT made HIM laugh.   
“How did you say? Depends on the receiver.”   
“Observer. I said “observer”.”  
A sign. “Okay, Miss Corrector, what can I do to redeem my mistake?”  
She bit her lip. “I’m pretty sure you’ll think of something.”   
She didn’t think about THAT … not at all.   
LIES.   
You naughty thing, she thought, only realizing her face was probably burning red.   
Who said one’s libido died off while getting older? Well, hers definitely didn’t.   
Yep, he had been right. There would have definitely happened something if he had come up …  
“You got time tomorrow?” The question came immediately, as if he had just waited for the right moment.   
He could have suggested it without saying anything else and she would have said yes immediately.  
“Ah.” She roamed through her hair, clearing her throat while trying to get a very lively imagination out of her mind. “My hours tomorrow are until six-thirdy.”   
“Wow. That’s a bad Friday.”  
In another situation she would have laughed, but now she wasn’t in that mood.   
She was IN LOVE.   
So all she did was smile while even the last pieces of her heart melted. “Since I can spend the rest of it with you, it’s not bad at all.”   
She could literally see him smile. “I’m glad to hear that.” Then, a quick pause. “Hey, listen, I finish at seven, got the afternoon shift, I could pick you up if you’re okay to wait.”   
Hollis nodded. “I’m looking forward to it.” 

A short silence. 

“That was an amazing evening.”  
She smiled and inhaled. “Yes, it was.” 

Five seconds of silent thoughts. Comforting silence. Knowing the other one was still there.   
“Good night, Hollis.”  
She smiled. “To you too. Have a nice sleep.” Turning her head she imitated a kiss toward the phone. “Sweet dreams.”  
“The sweetest ones back to you, my love.”   
Her smile turned into a grin. “See you tomorrow. Bye.”  
“Bye.”

Before sleep took over her, Hollis remembered two particular words of his. 

My love.


	5. Specialties

If her folks sensed something, they didn’t say anything. Either they still a little unsure about her since they hadn’t been working together that long, or they thought it wasn’t their business.   
At least … until she met with a certain person who, somehow, had the abilities of detecting even the smallest changes in one’s demeanor or behavior. 

Nellie was eight years younger than her but they had clicked the first moment on. On Fridays they always met for coffee and a short walk along the Potomac-River before returning back to work. 

Apparently, she WAS going through a visible chance. Nellie was constantly giving her side glances, but she waited for her friend to talk about it. She wouldn’t make it that easy for her. 

Finally after what felt like fifteen minutes, the dark haired woman let the bomb drop.   
“You look really good today.”   
“Well thank you.” Hollis smirked and took her coffee.   
“Are you having sex?”  
Luckily, she had a good self-composure. And luckily her coffee was still too hot to drink. Otherwise she would have probably spilled everything.   
“What?”, she laughed. “No!” Nellie lifted her eyebrows.   
Hollis bit her lip. “Well … not yet.”   
Her friend’s brown eyes lit up. “So there IS someone involved.”   
Her old “me” probably would have just shrugged it off. Her new “me” – the in-love-me – felt like shouting it out into the world. She really was turning into a cheesy person lately.  
“Yes. There is.”   
If Nellie wasn’t already anxious about it, she was virtually jumping right now. “Tell me.”   
“His name is Clint.” She found herself putting emphasis on his name. “He’s a doctor. Trauma surgeon at the Walter Reed.”  
Nellie grinned. “Another military guy?”  
“No. Just a doctor.”   
“Oh. “Just”. Wow, are you loving.”   
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean!”  
“Yeah, I DO know you military brass.” Nellie grinned. “Army versus Navy, just saying.”   
“Well, maybe it’s good he isn’t either one of those.” Hollis took sip of her coffee, dwelling in memory. And smiled. “He’s a really great guy.”   
She caught Nellie next to her smirking. Yep, it had hit her hard.   
“Since when?”, her friend then asked. And she told her everything about it. 

*

Well … not everything. She didn’t tell her that he was going to pick her up in the evening because she knew Nellie would come up with any kind of excuse to see her leave. Even if it meant staying an hour overdue and peeking through the windows.   
And there he was. Dark blue coat, jeans, hands in his pockets and smiling at her the whole way she was coming towards him. 

“Hi there”, she called as she was in hear sight.   
“Good evening Mylady”, he gave back in a huge, thick irish accent that made her smile widely.   
“And you did it again.” She stopped shortly before him, tilting her head. “You made me smile. Again.”   
Clint’s eyes twinkeled and his lips twisted. “So can I get a kiss?”   
She didn’t need to be told twice. And as he pulled her close, hand flat on her back, she felt like flying. Floating on air. Suddenly her life seemed so easy, so perfect. 

“I could really get used to ending my work like this”, she whispered as they pulled apart. He smirked while his hand travelled from her back down her arm, touching her hand. She slipped her fingers between his and felt her heart do a joyful jump.   
Holding hands had always been something … important for her. And the fact he was so open and easy with showing that in public only made her love him even more.   
“Where are we going?“, she asked as he gently tugged at her hand, pulling her towards his car.   
„There’s a secret place which has recently opened. The food is fantastic.” He opened the door for her and gave her a smirk. “Only open for special guests.”  
“Oh.” She gave him a look. “I’m honored.”   
The huge smirk on his lips was as perfect Hollis almost took out her phone to snap a picture.   
Oh, she hoped she’d see that smile a lot of times more. 

*

After a drive for about ten minutes Clint pulled into a gateway right under a carport. Hollis lifted her eyebrow.   
“Why do I feel we are NOT going out.”   
He grinned. “You bet we don’t. At least, I don’t.” He turned off the engine. “You do.”   
She rolled her eyes in pleasure. “If with that you’re telling me you know how to cook I’ll be to my knees.”   
“One shouldn’t praise himself, but … I guess you should prepare for it.”   
She grabbed the door handle. “As long as it’s not Haggis, I’m in.”   
He laughed. “No, that’s Scottish anyways.”  
She shrugged while getting out of the car. “All that northern stuff, get confused with that.” She turned around to face him. “We had a Scot and an Irish in our troop, once. Almost didn’t get a single word whenever those two spoke, it’s like a whole new language.”   
She heard him chuckle next to her and joined in with a smirk.   
And then he reached around her and slung his arm over her shoulder and her heart melted. That was the moment she didn’t only realize she was in love. She knew she had gotten a friend. 

“For future-reasons, is there anything you don’t eat?”, he asked as they stepped through the door to the building – it was a pretty big one but only had four or five flats in it, so … it probably meant he used his doctor’s pay check for a nice home.   
THAT she liked. “Nothing which is barely still alive.” He gave her a look and she explained. “Whenever I eat meat, which is very, very seldom, it needs to be well done. I think I’m not able to see blood on my table.”  
The question unspoken in his eyes was clear enough.   
“Fainted once. In a restaurant.” She shrugged. “Blood on the battlefield’s fine. Treating wounds. Shooting. Just not mixed with anything to eat.”   
A slight smile accompanied “No worries. I’m no meat-addicted guy. At least …” He gave her a onceover. “Not the typical one served on the table.”  
She stared at him and felt herself blush, and she gasped. “Oh, I should have known there has to be a little bad guy in you!”  
He smirked. “I’m a doctor, what did you expect?”   
She laughed at his “explanation”, knowing exactly that this had nothing to do with the true meaning of his words.   
His flat was in the highest floor. It had been a long time since she had been nervous about visiting someone else’s home, but … anyways, everything she was feeling since the last days she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

He helped her with her coat, they stored their shoes and he guided her through the hall, into the living room.   
Her eyes fell on a nicely laid table. And she knew. 

“You so didn’t have to work.”   
He grinned which made him look at least ten years younger. “Caught.”  
“I wondered. To me you were saying I had a bad Friday but then it was you who had to work even longer hours.”   
“I should have known. Dating an investigator.”  
“Former investigator”, she exclaimed.   
Clint turned so he was facing her. “Is there something I should know about this “former investigator”?”  
“Hm.” She stepped in and wrapped her arms around his waist. “That I can get reeeeaaally clingy when I’m somewhere I feel comfortable.”  
“And?” He closed the last inched between them. “Do you feel comfortable?”  
She looked at him.   
Deeply. Green meeting brown.   
“I feel I could stand in the arctic with bare feet and still feel no cold if I only have you by my side.”   
She would have done everything to capture the smile on his face with a picture. “Wow. That out of your mouth. I take that as a compliment.”  
“You can be.” She kissed him and brushed along his jaw. “You really can.”


	6. The best kind of normal

“Hey. What I wanted to ask you. Do you have any pictures from Hawaii, or on duty?” He asked the question while they were eating – after her praising his abilities. She wondered what else that guy was capable of doing.   
She nodded. “Have some on my phone, but all of them are on my laptop at home. So … either I show you some on that tiny display or …” She smirked. “I guess you need to visit me.”   
“Oh I think I can arrange that.” He gave back a grin, wide and happily and Hollis felt her heart do another jump. 

“I realized I don’t know anything about your family”, he then said.   
“Ah, what do you wanna know?”  
He lifted his arms. “Anything you’d freely tell.”  
No hesitation from her. “I’ve got two brothers. Francis is four years older than me, he’s married , has a son, and is working at the San Diego university.”   
“Oh.” Clints eyes widened in interested. “Lecturer?”  
She nodded. “History and Sociology, once. Since he’s older, he cut it down to the first.” She grabbed her glass. “My younger brother Austin has a longtime boyfriend, not sure if they ever going to be married, though.”  
Now, his eyebrows raised. She nodded. “Yep. He’s gay.”   
She was so glad his lips immediately turned into a wide smile. “Since when are they together?”, he asked.   
“Five years I guess.”   
He whistled. “Wow. That’s a lot younger than I have ever managed to stay with a woman.” Tilting his head, he asked: “And your parents?”  
“Mum and Dad live in Sacramento. Dad’s still helping his “former” working colleagues, strolling by from time to time. He was a lawyer.”  
His head tilted to the side. “That a reason why you chose Hawaii? So you could be near them?”  
She nodded, smiling at his intuition. She had never been quite a homebuddy when she was younger, but it seemed the older she got the more comfortable she grew around the people she loved and the more she appreciated calmness.   
A calm life, actually. Not boring, though. Just … not without running a squadron of a hundred soldiers and being responsible for them. “Also. But mostly it was because I had fallen in love with Hawaii years ago. It had always been my plan to live there for a while.” She shrugged. “I’m a summer girl. But I guess you already know that.”  
“True that, I do.”   
“You have this energy with you, you know. Some … sophisticated radiation.”  
She laughed. “Wow. That is something I have never heard before.”  
“It’s true.” Clint smiled and – decided to leave it there.   
“What about you?”, she then retorted. “Any siblings?”  
“Yeah. Younger sister.” He drank a sip. “Aileen. She’s married with two kids, Sadie and Ajax. They live in the outher skirts of Philadelphia, Mum’s still in Boston but thinking about moving closer. After dad died of a heart attack four years ago, actually.”  
She frowned. Sympathy clawed around her heart. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”  
Clint shrugged. “It happened in his sleep. Peaceful.” A faint smile. “Just as he always wanted.” He fell silent for a moment and Hollis granted it to him. “He was the most lighthearted person I have ever known. A true adventurer. As he met mum, he literally infected her with that. They travelled a lot after retiring.” He finally looked at her again. His eyes were clouded, but not only sadness. More like … melancholy. “He had a good life though. And we were never people to be dragged down too much by death. So … it was easier for us than for others.”  
She nodded. Oh how well she knew that. That feeling of losing people …

He cleared his throat as he himself felt the heaviness spreading inside the room. “Wow, I really pulled the conversation into some sad sphere”, he apologized.   
She reached out for his hand. “Sadness is no weakness. It’s proof we accepted what had happened and who we are, and only from this we can move on.”   
They fell silent for a moment, both processing what she had just said. Then, Clint smiled.  
“Where did that come from, Miss Mann?”  
She smiled shyly. “I said something similar two one of my soldiers. A private. I … he was really young. Seventeen. And he missed home, but he didn’t let anyone see it, so he decided to play the cool guy. One day, it was late, I had a chat with him. I told him if he ever wanted to feel better, he had to let it out at some point. Told him even soldiers cry, and that it’s more than okay.  
He looked at me and asked if that ever happened to me. And I said Yes. The third week at basic training, I didn’t sleep for a whole three nights because I so desperately wanted to go home.” She leaned back in her chair before going on. “It was never home sickness. And I realized how I could manage to detect if something is right for me or not. If the bad aspects overshadow the good ones, that’s when you need to do something, when you need change. Up to that part … I think it’s always worth the fight.”

Clint nodded. She nodded.   
And then she raised her eyebrow. “Wow. That was deep talk.”   
Clint laughed.   
“It’s nice seeing that side of you.” He sat his glass down, gave it a gentle shove and then looked back into her eyes.   
He always did that. He didn’t just look AT her. He looked right inside her eyes.   
“Are you religious or something?”  
She shook her head. “No. Not at all. We were brought up protestant, but mum and dad never put pressure on us. Austin wasn’t even afraid to come out. But I get it if someone believes in God and sees faith as ones lifeline, I really do. There are many religious people in the army, many I worked with. My faith … I don’t know. I have little rituals, but I wouldn’t call myself religious, especially because I’m not okay with how people abuse it.  
At Christmas, we don’t go to church anymore. We take a walk to one of those little chapels about thirty minutes away from my parent’s house and everyone lights up a candle to think about the people we love or have lost.” She smiled in melancholy. “That’s my faith. To pray for my beloved ones, hope they are save and will be.”   
He nodded. Slowly, understanding. “I like that.” 

The chit chatted a little while they cleared the table – it felt so NORMAL and DOMESTIC already – and then he asked the question.   
“You in for a movie?”   
She nodded. “Of course. Any preferences?”  
He blew out air through his nose. “Hm. We could go through Netflix or Amazon Prime, or …”  
“You need to have any dvd’s of movies you favor. Like old-school and vintage.”  
She enjoyed the grin she had managed to make appear with her words and he nodded.   
“You know R.E.D.?”   
“Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman?”   
A nod.   
She roled her eyes. “Of course I do. The title’s basically me.”  
And then he really, really laughed, and she grinned. Before she could even more, his arm was around her waist and he kissed her if this was the last thing he could ever do.   
And lately at this point Hollis Mann knew she was in love. And if being with him was how she’d die, she knew now she could die happily ever after. 

*

Life hit him with surprises all the time. No day was like the other, no matter if he tried to make himself a rhyme out of things, it didn’t work out anyway. So he had decided, a long time ago, to take each day by day and how it came at him, making the best out of it.   
He wouldn’t ever had expected that. His heart had probably known the moment they had started talking. Lately as she told him about her work he had detected that passion inside of her, that power, the ambition, and the good heartedness. She was smart, witty, and she challenged him in just the right way. 

He loved the way her eyes sparkled. Those beautiful, big, green eyes. He loved to hear her laughing.   
God, she had such a wonderful laugh. Carefree. He hadn’t believed that she was that kind of bossy woman behind the scenes. Not that this hadn’t been another facet which attracted him about her.   
Making people laugh had always been a goal of his. 

He had become a doctor because he wanted to help people. He became a doctor for military folks because he was impressed by their strength, passion, and bravery. Because they deserved the best medical treatment they could possibly get. 

Maybe that was another one of those thousand things that had appealed him about her. The fact she was an army-woman. 

She had this … wicked, golden humor. That blank honesty. And yet, simultaneously, she got as easily blushed as a schoolgirl. She was … actually she could be really cute. 

He had never been with a woman who could be bossy and walking around with an armor of steel and then turn into some adorable cuddler with a smile sweet as caramel and all of that within just minutes.  
It was that mixture of all those things he wouldn’t have imagined being combinable which made her absolutely wonderful. 

And as he looked down on her, the way she was leaning on his shoulder, completely relaxed, hair sprawled, he knew he was head over heels.   
He was over fifty. He hadn’t imagined something like that happening to him again. And it had hit him full force.   
Not that he regretted it. Not in the slightest. 

Tentative he reached out to smooth a soft strand of hair out of her face, remembering he hadn’t really done that before. He knew he was in love with that magnificent, enchanting and oh so special woman.   
And then he realized hadn’t just dozen off – she was asleep. Deeply asleep. 

Clint found himself smiling. He turned off the TV. For a moment he contemplated sleeping here on the couch, not really wanting to move her, but he knew he’d be sore as hell the next day.   
Within seconds he made up his made. He got up and slipped his arm under her knees, his right one around her waist and lifted her up. Luckily he had never been weak nor was she all too heavy, so it was almost easy to carry her into his bedroom.   
He placed her down as gently as he could, hoping she wouldn’t wake up. She didn’t even stir. 

Not even a hint of hesitation in his mind he pulled the blanket over her, then stilled in his movement. Slowly he bent over to caress her cheek.   
She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. So pure and calm and … normal. Suddenly, she wasn’t the former army LtC and current DoD agent carrying a weapon and probably being able to kill him with just one move. Now, she was just a normal, beautiful, mesmerizing woman. 

He slipped into pjs, got ready for bed and turned off the lights. Stealing another glimpse to her, he smiled. 

“Normal” had never felt better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I so HAD to make one of her brothers gay and turn the other one into a sociologist


	7. Chapter 7

At first as she woke Hollis was disoriented about her surroundings. She had never seen that room before. It was pretty spare, clean, but nevertheless comfortable. Darkblue blanket, grey bedsheets.   
She stilled. 

Wait.   
Clint.   
Dinner. He had made dinner for her.   
Movie. They had watched a movie.   
And then …  
She looked down at herself and realization hit her. She was still fully dressed. So … that could only mean that it had happened again. 

She made a disapproving noise.   
Great. Their first evening together, like REALLY together, and she didn’t even stay awake long enough to tell him good night.   
Signing, Hollis rolled out of bed. She still remembered where his bathroom was – right next to the bedroom, which she appreciated – and decided to at least try not to look like she had just slept nine hours straight. Luckily, she didn’t look half as awful than she might have feared.   
Due to her military background she was used to get along with pure basics to get ready – using her hands she combed through her hair, washed her face and then decided to look for him. 

She found him in the kitchen, his back to her, standing in front of the stove. She leaned against the doorframe and signed to make him aware of her. “I feel asleep.”   
“Good morning.” She heard the chuckle out of his “You did.”  
She roamed through her hair. “I’m so sorry. That’s another thing you should know about me. I can sleep anywhere and within seconds, I’m literally a goner and almost nothing can disturb me.”   
“Don’t worry.” He finally turned around and gave her a smile. “Actually, I’m wondering. I hope it was okay that … uh … that I got you into my bed and … that I slept there, too.”  
Her eyes went wide. “You carried me? How did you manage THAT?”   
He burst into laughter. “First, I’m stronger than I might look like. Second, you’re not heavy at all.”  
She crossed her arms, leaned against the kitchen counter and shook her head in playful incredulity. “Thank you for first emphasizing your strength and THEN referring to my weight.”   
Another laugh.   
“Darling.” He threw the towel aside and turned around. “If you allow me to demonstrate.”   
Her surprised squeal turned into a giggle as he reached around her and sat her down on the counter. Hollis wrapped her legs around him and pulled him in for a kiss, enjoying his affection.   
“I like that.”  
“What?”   
“That pet name. And your accent.” She tilted her head. “By the way, haven’t answered your question. Of course it was okay.” She put her arms on his shoulders. “You wouldn’t have thought I would have wanted you to sleep on your couch.”  
He grinned. “Of course not. Would have let you stay there.” She punched him into the chest which only coaxed another heartfelt laughter.   
She enjoyed the warmth his hands on her thighs exuded and the way his touch indicated nothing more than just comfort and the want to touch her and to be near her.   
“This is such a teenage-thing to do”, she giggled between kisses.   
“Hm.” He stole another one. “If we were teenagers, we’d do it right here, now, on the counter.” He lifted his eyebrow. “At least you want that.”  
“God, no!” She laughed.   
“Good. Would have wanted to wait for a better occasion anyways.” He smiled and danced along her sides with his fingertips.   
The coffee machine interrupted them and he signed, reluctantly pulling away from her. She just stayed where she was, finding comfort in that place.   
“Want a cup, too?”, he asked and opened a drawer.   
“Yes please”, she said while watching him pouring the hot liquid into two coffee mugs.   
“You put sugar in yours, right?”, he then asked while already reaching out for the sugar pack.   
“Aw. You remember.”   
“Of course I do.” With a smile she could definitely grow used to in the mornings – at each time of the day, actually – he handed her her mug.   
She took a sip and then stole a look over his shoulder. “Are you making pancakes?”  
A nod.   
“And we didn’t even have sex. What can I expect after THAT?”  
He laughed. “A lot of kissing, probably. I’m an after-sex-cuddler.”  
“Thank god.” She rolled her eyes. “Me too.”

...

After a very unhealthy and so unlikely-her breakfast – which contained maple syrup, chocolate cream but at least an apple and some strawberries - they went for a long, nice walk through the city and the park. The sun was out today, it wasn’t that freezing cold, but nevertheless had she stolen one of his scarfs.   
Wow. She already stole her boyfriends clothes. That went fast. 

Boyfriend.   
The realization hit her without warning and her heart leaped. It actually really FELT like a relationship, and she couldn’t recall the last time it had. She stopped in her tracks, turned and kissed him without warning.   
As they pulled apart, he batted his eyes before looking at her. A wide smirk grin appeared on his face.   
“What was that for?”   
“Ah you know.” She pulled at the collar of his jacket before placing her hand on his chest. “I’m just incredibly happy I met you.”   
And the rest of the way they walked arm in arm, clinging next to each other, and Hollis realized this, this was how love should feel like.

…

They decided to cook together – this time at least. Apparently, Clint had a great receipt for lasagna, gotten from one of his closest friend’s mum. That was one of the main things she loved about Italy. The food was amazing. Hollis knew she hadn’t all ingredients at home so they came by a shop before driving to hers. Luckily, she had never been a messy person and didn’t have to fear for anything awkward jumping at them. Especially, if they really would make this work – and right now it DID feel like they were more than alright – he would have to deal with her flaws and blind spots anyways. 

Hollis put on the radio while they were working. Both of them handling their tasks, listening to the songs, being surrounded with comforting silence. It felt so normal. As if they had never done anything different. 

Sometime she caught him looking at her. She didn’t mind.   
But he didn’t stop it, even after what felt like ten seconds and more.   
At some point she really had to smirk. “What.”   
“Nothing.”   
He shrugged, but there was glimmer in her eyes she had never seen in a guy before. “You’re just …” He reached up to caress her cheek. “Incredibly beautiful.”  
Feeling herself blush she turned away sheepishly, but she didn’t get far. “Hey. Look at me.” The undertone made her to it. “I mean it. You’re beautiful. So special. And … it makes me feel sad that you don’t seem to believe me.”  
She shook her head at the sweetness of his words and in his voice.   
“It’s just that … it’s been a long time since someone has called me beautiful.”   
“Just because they didn’t articulate it, it doesn’t mean that it weren’t true”, he whispered. He brushed against her cheek. “But, nevertheless, they should have told you. But I’m happy to take that job now.”   
She leaned his touch, completely forgetting about the food. She closed her eyes, signed and felt herself relax against him.   
“This feels so perfect. I just can’t really believe it’s real.”   
“With this you mean …”  
“You. Us.” She lifted her chin to look into his eyes. “Here. I don’t know. I … I never had that before.”   
“People need changes”, he silently said.   
She nodded. “Yes, they do.” A smile. “I’m glad that change is you.” 

“What’s your younger brother doing?”, he asked as they lined the last layer of cheese.   
“You wont believe it.”  
He stopped right between his doings to give her a raised eyebrow. “Why?”  
Hollis smirked. “The stereotype. He’s a hairdresser. That’s how he met his boyfriend, who’s a photographer.”   
She straightened up and shook her hands free of parmesan. “Actually, my younger brother and me are total opposites.”   
“In which way?”, he wanted to know.   
“You know, dad always joked, saying he had a girl in a boy’s body and a boy in a girl’s body.” Hollis rested her hip against the kitchen counter and proceeded telling him while he checked the oven one more time. “Well, he was sweet and caring and calm, I was bold, energetic and saying what was on my mind.”   
Clint, who finally had decided they had enough cheese on top, gave her a look. “You do realize you are so speaking in stereotypes?”  
“Yes, but it’s the truth for us. It really was.”   
She held the oven’s door open for him, he put it in, she closed the lid and they moved to cleaning up while she went on with her explanation.   
“The only difference was I actually liked dressing and if guys noticed me. But apart from that, I never had those female qualities. I never was the comforted, or the empath. Or sports. I loved it, he hated it. I was the runner, he was the lying-on-the-couch-and-reading-books one.”   
“Oh, lying on the couch really is a boy’s thing to do.”  
She gave him her tilted-eyebrow-look. “Oh come on, you know what I mean. You also know I don’t believe in those stereotypes. Hell, I’m probably more pro-women as other self-declaring feminists. I was just … always into breaking gender rules.”  
“And that’s what I love about you.” Without hesitation he pulled her towards him on her waist, and kissed her.   
She melted. Again.   
Every single time, all over again. 

“The funniest part about that was when he came out as gay. Francis just yelled “I knew it” and that was it.” She grinned. “You know, it’s great having a brother who’s simultaneously like your best friend and both of you can talk about boys.” She lilted her head, a thought running through her mind as she watched him. “He’ll like you.”   
A brought grin. “Ya think?”  
“Oh I know.” She stole another kiss. “And not just because you’re handsome.” Another one. “Because you’re a lovely guy.”   
“Lovely. Hu. That’s something I haven’t heard in a long time.”   
She ran her finger along his jaw. “But it is so true.”

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind.”   
She stopped midway. “What?” She turned around.   
“At school I was in the theater’s group. We played some Shakespeare.”   
She shut the dishwasher and eyed him. “You know, for an American with Irish descents it’s a little weird to quote a British playwright.”   
He caught her eyes. “Not good?”  
“It is.” She leaned over to press a kiss on his cheek. “It’s actually quite romantic.” 

Only minutes later the kitchen was clean again and the lasagna already was starting to produce some good smell.   
Clint poked her arm. “What do you think. Show me the pictures while we’re waiting?”  
“Good idea.” She whipped her hands clean and nodded into the living room. “I’ll get my laptop, feel free to make yourself comfortable.” 

As she came back she smiled at the picture of finding him on the couch, legs crossed at the ankles, waiting for her. As she sat down next to him, he placed his arm behind her. That whole situation just screamed of domestication. 

The first ones were mostly landscape pictures – until they came upon the underwater-scenery. He awed and owed of them, asked about how that felt and everything, and Hollis excitedly – and proud, too – told him about all their trips and experiences.   
His eyed went wide as she swiped to a picture which showed a shark and a blonde haired diver padding his nose.   
“Don’t tell me that’s you.”  
She grinned. “That is me.”   
“Weren’t you scared?” Right after asking, he shook his head. “No, this is you we’re talking about. I should know.”  
Hollis chuckled. “Meaning?”  
“Well I picture you a pretty fearless woman.”   
“Oh I am scared of some things. But, sharks aren’t on that list. Not anymore.” Smiling she thought back to that day – the quietness of the ocean, the sunrays shining through, their group of four, and that gentle giant approaching them curiously. “They actually really seem to like getting padded. Was a great experience.”   
They went on - some pictures of the locals, some with her in it, some without. She told him about her friends she had made, the two guys owning her favorite beach bar, the young family she had befriended, and Yari, the guy who owned the diving tours and who taught her how to do it.   
The next picture showed her on the beach, she was wearing her black bathing suit. The only parts touching the ground were the dorsum of her feet and her palms, her back was arched, face towards the sky. She still wondered how she survived that pose without any back pain. He whistled. “Woman, you got a killer bod’.”  
His words made her chuckle. “A variation of the “cobra”. A yoga pose. The sister of one of the bar-guys, Lucy, she loved taking pictures. And, well, she and her folks sometimes forced me, and sometimes, just snapped some.”   
“Snapshots are always the best. But this is great, too.” He rubbed along her shinbone.   
She swiped – and smiled as she looked at the young woman in the white and colorful striped bikini. “That’s Leah. I met her in my second favorite beach bar at the city. She’s british, did an internship on Lanaii. We started talking, I cant even remember about what, and somehow we exchanged numbers. Met some times. Exchanged numbers and addresses.”   
The next one was another picture with Leah and Sam, Lucy’s boyfriend and her, Lucy holding the camera as a selfie. Then, Leah alone, holding a coconut, laughing into the camera.  
She felt her smile turn melancholic, and even Clint sensed it.  
“There is something else.”   
She signed. “She called me one evening. She was crying, telling me she was homesick. And then she asked if she could come over.”   
“And you said yes.” He smiled. She nodded.   
“I did. She stayed with me for the following three nights, slept on my couch. It was actually … nice. Not being alone, I mean. Having someone to have breakfast and dinner with.”   
Clint next to her nodded as if he were deep in thoughts. “You turned into some kind of mother figure for her.”   
Hollis took a deep breath, knowing that if she would verbally approve, she’d be a puddle on the floor within seconds. She MISSED that girl. “I drove her to the airport as her internship had finished”, she then said. “It felt like we were hugging for an eternity. I constantly told myself not to cry, to stay strong for her sake, but as soon as she had disappeared, I couldn’t hold it back.” She smiled. “She send me a postcard from her hometown just three days later. And as I returned to Washington I told her whenever she would want to visit the states again, my door would be open.”   
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She smiled at the affection. He just knew how to make her feel better.   
“Now I really could picture you as a mum.”  
She snorted. “Oh believe me, I wouldn’t be a good one. I still remember myself around Francis’ son when he was younger. I don’t do well with kids. I do well with teens. Miraculously.”   
“Well. The only important thing is that you were a mum and a friend to her.” He pointed at the display.   
Hollis leaned her head against his shoulder, once again remembering the girl’s lighthearted laugh, their trips together, and the evenings at the beach, together with all the other Hawaiians.   
“Yes.” She smiled. “That’s true.”

** Sunday morning  
She had always been a morning person before night owl which had certainly helped her military career. Sneaking out of bed she put on her sports-bra and grabbed a lightblue shirt and some underwear before heading into the bathroom.  
As she came back, she was greeted with the sight of a sleepy, confused-blinking doctor with ruffled hair. “Where are you going?”, he mumbled.   
“Sunday Runday.”   
He made a disapproving noise. “You DO know it’s actually called Sunday Funday.”  
“Well, for me it kinda is. I need that”, she gave back, turning around to fiddle for her stuff. 

It took only seconds until she felt his eyes on her. And she felt herself smirk like an idiot.  
“Stop staring at my butt”, she called, though not minding it at all.  
“So don’t stand like that. I actually feel forced to stare.”   
She just signed, not feeling to hurry at all, and then turned as she had collected everything. “Prepare some breakfast while I’m gone”, she playfully demanded.  
He just held up his hand. “Yes, Ma’am.”   
This Sunday morning she left home with a grin.


	9. Questions and answers

They already knew they wouldn’t see each other on Mondays and Wednesdays, but that didn’t matter. A little change of pace and absence from each other wouldn’t mind, and it made their time together even more special.

On Friday he got called in for an emergency, Saturday she had work to do, too, Sunday midday they met.

An idea had manifested inside Hollis’ mind, one she articulated after they had dinner – Indian take out, on the couch. That was HER kind of cooking.   
“You know, we already spoke about some things”, she said while swallowing the last piece of chocolate. “But how about we look for questions in the internet. Sometimes that reveals quite interesting facts.”   
He looked at her for a moment, almost as if he were contemplating, then giving her a nod. “But I am not going to be the one who moves.” She was up in seconds, getting her phone, scrolling through internet pages until she finally decided on one.   
“I’ll ask you first, and then we change after some questions, okay?” He didn’t complain so she took it as a yes. She clicked on the first question – and laughed.   
“Wow. This is starting well.” Clearing her throat, she looked at him while reading.

_Does the thought of recording a video turn you on?_

“Oh for that we’re too old”, he blurted out.   
She smirked. “I’m glad you think that too.” She scrolled to the right.   
“Oh that’s a good one.

_Do you prefer doing it in the morning or night?_

“Night. Definitely.”  
She nodded. “Me too.”  
  


_How do I compare to other girls you've been with?_

His eyebrows went up. “Wow. Okay. That came unprepared.”  
With a smile she watched him contemplating, thinking about what to answer to that. He had his forehead wrinkled and was staring at some point in the room as he finally spoke again. “You are incredibly easy.” He now focused on her. “Straight forward but not intruding. I always know what you want or don’t want. And that’s a good quality.”  
Smiling, happy he liked that part of her personality – which was a very big aspect – she went on.   
And couldn’t help the evil smirk appearing.  
  


_Do you like getting tied up? How about tying me up?_

“I don’t want it. About you, I wouldn’t mind.”  
She chuckled and felt her cheeks turn red and hot equally. And … the way his eyes rested on her didn’t quite help her calm down.   
Well, she should have foreseen something like that.  
  


_Have you ever done it in the water?_

“Once.”  
She gave him a look. “And?”   
He grinned wide. “Was awesome.”  
She laughed.   
“Oh.” She nodded in interest. “That is an interesting one.”   
  


_What was the first thing you noticed about me?_

He thought for a moment. “Your eyes. And then your smile. And later I thought, you looked so … elegant in some kind of very bossy way. And whenever you smiled it seemed as if you were shining from the insight.” As he smiled his eyes mirrored the deep, blue ocean. “You just have that spark in you which makes it impossible to turn away. You drag people to you.”   
Hollis smiled sheepishly. “That’s sweet.”   
“I mean it. You have beautiful eyes, and an even more beautiful smile.”   
Now she couldn’t help the blush. “Stop it.”  
Clint grinned. “Then go on asking questions.”   
Which she did. And she lifted her eyebrows at the next one coming up – not in confusion but excitement.   
  


_What do you prefer: boy shorts or thongs?_

“Both got its …allure.”   
“That’s all you got to say about that?”  
He grinned, nodding. “Might try both and help me decide.”  
Oh she would definitely go with the shorts. At least … well she could try to get a reaction out with her Brazilians …   
  


_What's an instant turn-on for you?_

“Depends on the woman and on the moment.”  
“Me.” She placed the phone in her lap and gave him a challenging look. “What do I do or should do so it would be a turn-on?”  
“Hmm.” He contemplated. “I feel I’m some kind of underwear guy.”  
She looked at him questioning. “Meaning?”  
“Most men can’t wait to see their woman naked. I’m more the … underwear type. I don’t know. Maybe it’s that feeling of we-are-not-at-the-end-of-the-road-yet. And some underwear is just …” She didn’t know if he really couldn’t think about a proper adjective or if he contemplated about saying what he wanted.   
Well NOW she knew she’d definitely get a good use for those Brazilians …  
“But you know what I’m thinking about right now?”  
She tilted her head, nonverbally asking what he meant.   
“You in an oversized flannel shirt. THAT would be something I would love to see.”  
She grinned. “We can manage that.”   
He stole a kiss from her before leaning back again, telling her to go on.   
  


_What is one thing that I wear that you find completely irresistible?_

“It’s not exactly something you wear but more what you do.   
It may sound really strange but it’s so totally sexy whenever you put that badge and your holster on.”   
She burst out laughing. “Well that IS strange. And again, a proof that you’re not a military guy. Which is good.”   
He smirked. “It is?”  
“Oh yeah.” She nodded in over-exaggeration.   
  


_Have you ever just wanted to tear my clothes off?_

“Yes.” The answer came immediately.   
Hollis looked at him without moving her head from the phone.  
“Yeah? When?”  
“Whenever you do exactly THAT.” He pointed at her.  
“What?”  
“That head-down and looking-up-thing.”  
Oh.   
Well …   
She did that pretty often, she just realized.   
  


_When you first met me, was it love at first sight?_

“It was definitely an attraction. And I knew I needed to see you again. Like, NEEDED, not only wanted.”  
She smiled. “That’s a good answer.”   
  


_Tight jeans or flirty skirt?_

“Jeans.” He rolled his eyes. “Oh, definitely jeans.”   
She giggled and shook her head, moving on. “Oh we’re getting steamy.”

  
_How old were you when you lost it?_

“Seventeen. You call that steamy?”   
“Changed my mind”, she retorted. A swipe. A grin. “It’s getting steamy now.”  
  


_Have you ever done it in the backseat?_

She bit her lip while waiting for his answer.   
“No”, he slowly said, as if realizing what she was up to.   
And she didn’t disappoint. “Do you ever WANT to do it in the backseat?”  
“Maybe?”  
“Hm.” Smirking, Hollis refocused on the device. “Might need a new car for that. We’re not twenty anymore.”   
She held her gaze steady on the display while he was chuckling. Apparently he hadnt been prepared for THAT retort. And for everything it indicated.   
  


_What do you find most attractive in a girl?_

“Hm.” He tapped his chin. “Humor and a good amount of intelligence. Not too naïve but also playful.”   
She nodded. That she could do.   
The next question made her laugh.   
  


_What is your favorite sex position?_

“I know this is boring but I don’t really have one.” He signed. “Again, this depends.”   
She didn’t even really listen to his answer since her fingers had already moved on to the next one … and that kind of occupied her brain.   
She waited some time until his attention was back on her.  
  


 _Do you like going down on a woman_?

This time, she looked up, literally feeling her eyes radiating. He held her gaze for a   
moment, his own ones glimmering. She couldn’t name the expression.   
“Yes”, he then said. Something about it ran a shiver down her spine.   
She really, really shouldn’t bite her lip now …

They held each other’s gazes until Hollis felt her skin prickle.   
“Okay one of us needs to break eye contact now.”  
He wiggled his nose, then squeezed his eyes and faked a sneeze. “Okay. Where were we?”, he asked sweetly and in the most innocent tone he had ever spoken. She just shook her head. Bless this guy.   
  


_Have you ever watched porn?_

“Oh, who hasn’t.”   
Hollis’ lips twisted and she gave him a nod. “Point taken.”  
A swipe. She made a noise. “Oh. This is probably a thing teenage girls would love to know.”   
  


_How often do guys really think about doing it_?

He blew out air. Something about his easiness impressed her.   
“Honestly, I’d say about myself I am not really that into sex. Again, it depends on the woman.” He shrugged, smiling. “Sorry for that lacking answer.”  
She gave him a “no need to apologize”-look and moved on.   
  


_Would you say you’ve been on Santa’s naughty or nice list most?_

“Definitely nice.” It was her to weigh in on that.   
“What makes you think that?”   
She lifted her right eyebrow as if that wasn’t obvious. “Because you are you. If one’s on the good list, it should be you.”   
She didn’t give him an opportunity to rethink her words as she already moved on.   
  


_Would you consider yourself romantic?_

“I think.”  
“No.” She pointed at him. “Don’t THINK. You ARE.”   
He chuckled and lifted his arms. “Okay, Ma’am. You’re words are truth.”   
“Oh you are definitely going to regret saying this in the future”, she said – and giggled at the next one. Oh boy. …   
  


_Under the sheets, are you Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, or Captain America?_ ”

That coaxed a laughter out of him, too. “I know the Marvel Movies, but holy shit, no idea.”  
Hollis looked at him, scanning, taking him in. “I don’t think you’re hulk.”   
He just chuckled.   
  


_How old were you when you had for first kiss_?

“I think sixteen. Not sure, though.”   
She smirked. Something about the fact he didn’t even know it made it precious.  
The next question made her skin prickle.   
  


_Do you like it with the lights on or off?_

As he answered, he looked right into her eyes. Her heart beat faster but she held it. “With you? Dimmed enough to make it romantic, light enough to be able seeing every inch of yours.”   
She felt her lips twist.   
And held his gaze, smirking, while asking the next question.  
  


 _Which body part are you most proud of_?”

“Is it a big turn-off if I say my brain?”   
“It actually is a turn-on. I love men who are intelligent. And it’s even nicer when you’re not even aware of what makes you so extraordinary.” She tilted her head. “You know what I think?”   
He shook his head.   
“Your heart.”  
For a moment he was just sitting and staring at her. “Wow. Thank you.”   
That smile of is was the most beautiful thing she had seen in years. At that point she really had to. She leaned forward and kissed him, long and sweet and pouring every emotion into it. When they pulled apart, his eyes were flickering.   
“Whataya think. Should we change?”

As she nodded he took her phone and tapped in something while Hollis made herself comfortable, sitting cross legged and facing him.  
“Phew.” He let out a sound. “Okay. There we go.”

_What's the hottest thing you've done to someone else?_

It didn’t even take her three seconds to answer.   
“Something that turned into the most awkward thing I’ve ever done”, she deadpanned. He eyed her – suspiciously and interested. “Well … I …” She cleared her throat. “Let me take this opportunity and confess to you that I’ll probably never give you a blowjob.” He saw her clench her jaw. Confusion spread inside of him. Was she, SHE, really feeling bad about that?  
“That’s no problem. Not really into it, either.”   
She signed. “Good, I’m relieved.”  
That wasn’t all, he knew it. Softly, he tested the waters. “Holly? What are you trying to say with that?”  
“You know.” She folded her hands. “I don’t feel comfortable with it, I don’t really know how and what to do, and my second boyfriend wanted me to do it and I totally embarrassed myself.”  
Clint batted his eyes, staring at her. “What kind of an asshole was that guy?”  
“I huge one. Broke up with him after only three or four weeks. So … it definitely wasn’t “hot”.” She blew out air. “I don’t know. Have never been the “hot” type, more like the teasing-one.”   
He definitely could disagree with her but decided to let it slide. Instead, he went on to the next question, hoping it were a better one.   
  


_Is there anything you're afraid of in the bedroom?”_

She exhaled and stared at the ceiling.   
“Strangulation. Apart from that?” She shrugged. “Not really. I’m pretty fearless, considering everything.”  
“Probably because you know you could kill your partner if you wanted.”  
“Don’t worry. I won’t.” The twinkle in her eyes didn’t really contribute to the truth content in her words.   
  


_What’s your favorite pair or underwear?_

“Interesting.” She shifted and curled her legs under. “Hm. View years ago it was my Calvin Klein’s. Now … I think I’m gonna go with the livid colored pair.” She shrugged. “Can’t remember the brand, though.”  
“Oh I so do not care about the brand, either”, he said. Her laughter was worth it.  
The next one made him smile.   
  


_Where is your favorite spot to be kissed?_

She smiled, looking like she were dreaming. “I like forehead-kisses. They are so meaningful. Turn on spots are my neck and my shoulder.”   
Oh he would REMEMBER that.  
  


_How do you feel about kissing in public?_

“Kissing is good. Making out, no.”  
  


_Are you a snuggler?_

“Yessss.” As if on cue, she came up next to him and leaned against his shoulder. Smiling, he went on.   
  


_Would you rather possess good looks or intelligence_?

He shook his head before “Uh, stupid. You’ve got both of it.”  
“Aw.” A kiss on his cheek followed. “Thank you.”   
  


_Have you ever tried to picture me naked?_

He turned his head at that one, looking at her challenging.   
“I have”, she mumbled, sheepishly giving him looks.   
“Don’t worry.” He grinned. “Me too.”   
“Well good we’re on equal terms”, she said.   
  


_What is your favorite thing about when we’re together?_

“That I can talk to you about literally anything. You are so wonderfully honest and easy and I just feel like I can relax at your side. You’re fun.”  
He bumped her nose. “You two. We make a good pairing, whatcha think?”  
“Oh definitely.”   
  


_What do you expect most out of a relationship?_

She closed her eyes before answering. “Companionship, honesty, and reciprocation. Giving and receiving on equal terms so it’s balanced.” That was when she looked back at him. “I don’t mean an eye for an eye. Just …”  
“Not that what you had before.”  
Hollis wrinkled her eyebrows, surprise written all over her face as she sat up. “How did you know?”  
“Oh hon.” He smiled sadly. “I can see it in your eyes.”  
She only held his gaze for seconds before turning away. He was shortly before reaching out and taking her hand as she straightened up again.   
“Next one please”, was all she said, and he willfully granted her that wish, even though he promised himself to ask her about it one day.  
  


_What is your guilty pleasure?_

Again she was fast to answer. “Ice cream. Oh god. And mousse au chocolate.” Just as she spoke it, her cheeks grew red. Clint raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”  
Hollis giggled. “A friend of mine once said that I get ice-gasms. So, probably not the best idea to get me ice cream in public.”  
He laughed.   
“I just cant help it!”, she defended herself. “If it’s good, I just … then I’m vocalizing it.”  
“In a very, very double meaning”, he chuckled, leaving her with a pink flush on her cheeks..   
  


_If I could take you on a date anywhere, where would you want to go?_

“Hmmm. I guess … well, I really want to go to Scandinavia one day, but simultaneously, I hate the cold.” She stilled as if she had gotten an idea, then pointed her finger at him. “Take me to Ireland once.”  
If she only knew how much he loved her for that. “My pleasure”, he nodded, feeling his heart running wild.   
  


_Hot showers or bubble baths?_

“Hot shower. Never been a bath-type.”

His ears burned as he read the next one.   
  


_What kind of props do you like to use in the bedroom?_

She gasped. “Seriously. You are asking me about my sextoys?”  
He smirked. “It’s interesting you’re saying “my” instead of not using a personal pronoun.”   
Hollis rolled her eyes. “Come on. Inheriting those things isn’t unusual.” And she didn’t give in. “I’m not saying. That’s my thing. All I DO say is, I do own some.”  
He nodded. He wouldn’t force her to tell him. Maybe he would find out … somewhen …  
  


_What are three places you’d do it outside of a home?_

“Holy shit”, she mumbled which made him grin. “Water, beach, and can’t think of a third one. But only if we’d really be undisturbed.”  
“So you would be in for such an adventure?”, he couldn’t help asking. His girlfriend gave him a look, piercing green eyes glimmering.   
“Yeah. I would.” Just then she jumped up. “Wait! I got something.” Her green was that of a chesire. “Haylof.”  
He raised his eyebrow. “Little itchy.”  
“And sand would be better?”, she retorted.   
“Well that’s actually a point.”   
God, that grin would be the death of him. But actually he couldn’t think of a better way to die.   
  


_At what age did you lose your virginity?_

“Nineteen. Almost twenty.”  
  


_I’m in the shower, do you join in or get me when I get out?_

“Depends in what mood I’m in.”  
The fact she left it there made it even MORE appealing.

He coocked his eyebrow at the next question.   
  


_If I bought you lingerie, would you model it for me?_

“Oh absolutely.” The way she articulated it made him laugh. And it really, really made him put that on his mental to-do list.

The following made him whistle. “Hm, oh that is interesting.”   
  


_What did you think when you first saw me?_

“Mhm he’s nice.”   
He burst out laughing and she only grinned. SMUG grinned.   
“Nice nice. Not only “nice”.” Her wiggling eyebrows only suggested the real meaning.   
  


_What is your biggest turn-on?_

“I do love men in suits. But also in jeans and bare the waist up. But I don’t really have that kind of a turn-on. Oh wait.” She held up her hand. “V-muscle.”   
Aha. He smirked, scrolling on. Hm, that meant he should probably train that thing again …  
  


_What’s your weakness/soft-spot in a guy?_

“When he’s caring.”   
He stilled at the immediate answer. Slowly he looked up. The smile on her lips was soft.   
“I know I don’t seem like it, but I really do like someone who can hold me and tell me it’s okay to have a breakdown. I might look like someone who’s into muscles or machos, but I am so not.”   
She shrugged. “Yet I somehow ended up with those guys way too often.”  
“I think it’s because most men don’t get that far to know the real you. The other version, the other half. They saw the Colonel. Not the woman.”

As she kissed him then, as he wrapped his arms around her, he promised to himself that he would never, ever let anyone hurt her again. 

...

They woke up at the same time, disturbed by his alarm. Hollis yawned and stretched as Clint turned the damn thing off, but then he did something unexpected. He rolled back around nuzzled his face into her neck.

“Good morning beautiful”, he grumbled, his breath tickling her.   
“Morning”, she whispered, enjoying his affection. Especially as his arm when around her waist and he moved even closer, spooning her. She smiled. There were only a view guys she liked that position with. He was definitely one of those who she LOVED when doing it.

His hand didn’t stay at that place, though. He slipped his hand under her shirt, then lower, under the hem of her shorts … and then stilled.   
Hollis felt a huge grin spreading on her lips, knowing exactly why he frowned.

“If your hand’s gonna move any further this morning will take a completely different turn”, she couldn’t help the retort.   
Clint cleared his throat. “Well … that I didn’t expect.”   
“You should do that now. I always sleep with no underwear on.”   
Now she turned around to face him and kissed away the still startled look on his face. “C’mon. Let’s get up and have some nice breakfast.”

It took them another ten minutes after he had pinned her down and kissed the hell out of her.   
That day couldn’t start better.


	10. Vanilla with a hint of honey

Something had changed. Something was different since the last days. Whenever he touched her, even if it were just his fingertips brushing along her side, her heart put on a firework.

That was when she decided that this evening, tonight, would end in a different way than usual.

*

He had his laptop on his thighs, doing research or something, she was reading a book.   
Actually … she hadn’t really been reading and focusing since the last ten minutes. Why it was taking her so long this time while usually she was pretty upfront with that topic, too, made her wonder.

“What are you thinking?”   
His sudden voice startled her and she blushed. Oh if he only knew …  
But considering the look he was giving her he DID.   
“Why is it that you always seem to _know_ what I mean or think.”  
He grinned. “Well tell me what you think it is what I mean you think.”   
She rolled her eyes but went on with the tease. “Why should I be the one?”  
He held her gaze. She did the same.   
She wouldn’t back down. No.   
“Okay.” He came closer. “So it’s up to me then.”   
He reached out, slowly, almost tentative, as if giving her the option to back down. She didn’t. Her heart pounded and beat strong against her ribs as his hand reached the hem of shirt.   
He gave her a look, questioning, as if asking for permission. She nodded. His hand slipped under the material, around her waist to the small of her back. His touch set her on fire – from head to toe, body and soul. Everything.   
She felt her eyes fall shut and seconds later his breath under her ear. “Is this what you want?” Another tickle over her skin and she signed.   
“Oh god yes.” She leaned in and kissed him, silencing his little chuckle by capturing his lips and cupping his jaw. His hands immediately went around her waist to pull towards him, and she didn’t hesitate a second to overcome the distance until they were flush against each other.   
His fingertips were still trailing along her spine, tickling, soft, teasing. If he only were half as good with his hands in the bedroom too … she moaned at the imagination.   
Clint noticed it, recused and chuckled. “Woman, I haven’t even done anything.”   
She gave him a flashing glare. “Oh believe me, you did.”   
She caught the flicker in his eyes, the twist of his lips, and the way his body posture changed.   
“Are you sure?”, he asked.   
“I am.” She got up in one move, then turned and held out both her hands. “If you are?”  
His eyes widened as he took her hand in his. “Oh I am so ready.”

She already knew the way to his bedroom inside out so walking backwards didn’t matter. As he kicked the door close, her heart jumped.   
It had been quite some time since she had last done this with someone she was absolutely sure …  
“Lights on or off?”, he asked.   
“Both.” He lifted his eyebrow in confusion and she stepped away to turn on the little light beside the bed before taking the big one off. The whole room was flooded in a nicely dimmed, orange color.   
He nodded. “I like that.” A smile appeared on his lips as he stepped closer into her personal space, pulling her flush against him. As he spoke, his voice was low. “Want to see you. To look at you.”  
She gave him a look and tightened her grip around his arms. “Yeah. Me too.”   
It took them another five seconds of complete silence, using it to just look at each other. She was first to unbutton his shirt, he was standing stock still, and she just couldn’t hold back the tease. “So tense.” She nudged his arm and smirked. “Relax, doc.”   
His lips twisted. “How could I? With the woman in front of me?”  
She bit her lip and glared up to him. “You’re such a charmer.”  
“My kind of foreplay.”   
Very slowly she pulled the material down his arms and used the movement to wrap her arms around his shoulders. She leaned in closer to whisper, conscious of the way she was full flush against him. “I hope that’s not the only thing you have in store.”  
“Don’t worry, dear, it isn’t.”   
He gave her a onceover, and even though she was still fully dressed, she felt as if he were looking straight through her. “I’m thinking of some very interesting things right now.”   
His words actually left her speechless for a moment but neither her nor he seemed to care. On the contrary – now it was him to take initiative. His hands found its way under her t-shirt and she inhaled, again.   
And he stilled.  
“Slow sex or normal?”  
This time she did kiss him. God, he was the purest gentleman she had ever met.   
“Haven’t had a slow version in a very long time.” She traced his features with her fingertip and nodded. “Yes. No need to rush anything. I want to enjoy this.” She used her left hand to place it flat on his heart, then tentatively ran down his chest. “All of this.”   
She felt him shiver under her touch and it made her feel proud – she was glad to know she could have the same effect on him as he had on her. And she really liked he was shaved. Not that she would have minded if it would have been different, but she had always had a fable for that. The fact that he seemed to be, too, just made the whole thing a double better.

As her hand almost reached the belt of his trousers he stepped back a few centimeters. Hollis was in the middle of raising her eyebrows in question as he gave her a nod. “Your turn.”   
Her lips turned into a grin at the implication. “You want me to strip for you?”  
He mirrored her expression. “Why not?”  
“Okay.” She found some kind of amusement in this. “A doctor’s orders are to be followed.”  
Slow, very slow, she pulled it over her head and shock her hair free as she threw the shirt on his lying on the floor. He looked her over in over exaggeration. “Oh yeah babe.”  
She burst out laughing at the comment. “I didn’t even do anything!”  
He pointed a finger at her. “That? That you call nothing?”   
Funny how they had changed roles.   
He took her in once more, this time it _really_ felt as if he were checking her out and it made her tickle, then his eyes widened and he whistled. “What is your secret? Sit ups every day?”  
Huge ego boost. If he only knew how big of a boost that was for her.   
“You won’t believe me, but “workouts” are actually the truth. I don’t even get rid of it anymore.”   
“I like it.” He stepped closer, leering down at her. “’ts sexy.”   
She cocked her head. “Oh yeah?”  
“Mhm.” He trailed a path along the sides of her rectus abdominis. Her eyes flutter and she forced herself not to start purring – THAT was one of her trigger points.   
She wouldn’t make it THAT easy for him. The Army taught stamina.   
“You’re not in bad shape either, doc.” She massaged along his v-muscle – at least the parts she could get to with him in his trousers. She slowly trailed along his jeans, dangerously close to his waking, most sensitive body part, and she could feel the effect that had on him.   
And then he stopped her. “Wait.” Grabbing her wrists, he pulled her with him – right into the bathroom. “Hygiene is most important”, he sing-sang, leaving her shaking her head at the silliness which was actually … well, quite mature and sweet at the same time.

But instead of waiting for her to go first he stepped behind her.   
Close.   
So close they touched, and close enough for her to visibly feel his body’s reaction to her. His hands moved along her arms and then he grabbed her hands, interlining their fingers, and Hollis couldn’t help it. She started giggling.   
“I so did NOT expect this”, she said, shaking her head.   
“What? That I’m a clean guy?”  
She laughed again. “No, that I was sure of, just … it’s just sweet you’re taking such good care of it.” She turned around after drying her hands and was met with eyes covered in a loving daze.   
“This is not just because I’m a doctor. It’s because I love you.”  
She would have touched his cheek if her hands weren’t soupy and caught between his, so she settled for a smiling “I know.”   
“And because I knew I could use the moment to my advantage.” He leaned in and they kissed, and the way he was pressing her against the sink made her moan.   
“You planned this”, she mumbled against his lips. “You didn’t just drag me her so we could wash our hands.” He grinned, a cheeky grin actually.   
As his hand moved lower from her waist down along her thigh, gently putting pressure on it, she hissed and glared at him. “If we don’t wanna end hooking up in here, we should get back.”

She found herself on the mattress sooner than she could recall, him hoovering above her, and they went on kissing. And on. And on. She really didn’t get fed up with that, and this was something that had never happened before.

Maybe she WAS getting old. Or maybe it was simply because with him, she enjoyed EVERYTHING, not just the height of the evening.

As they broke apart his eyes were flashing dark, and something within her stirred.   
“Tell me what you like.” His hands opened the button of her jeans and she flinched in agitation every single time his knuckles brushed along her stomach. “Any wishes?”  
She bit her lip and felt her cheeks blush. “I, well …” Yes, even SHE could get a little shy in the bedroom, even though that was a 10 percent chance … “I … need a little bit of time until …” She trailed off and he nodded. “Got it.” He kissed her again. “We’ll take it slow. Nice and easy.”   
She smiled against his lips, finally relaxing completely. “Thank you.”

She didn’t know when and how exactly they turned up the pace, but the tension shifted. Suddenly, it was pure heat surrounding her – and still, she felt comfortable. This would end in something she had NEVER had experienced before. And even though they got flirtier every second, none of the loving gentleness disappeared, on the contrary. It only seemed to get stronger.   
The moment he was only in his boxers, too, she moved her hands alongside him, down to his waist, until she reached his inner thighs. It only needed a single stroke of her thumb to make him squirm and he laughed.   
“Sorry”, Hollis chuckled and moved her hands away to let them rest on his waist. “Apparently I’m not gonna go there.”  
“Little ticklish”, he mumbled, almost sounding excusing.   
“That’s okay.” She nibbled his earlobe and then softly bit down. He released a grown and pulled her near until their bodies touched. Her hands traveled lower, down to his back, to his coccyx, massaging that one spot. Clint hummed, but it wasn’t just relaxed, but a “go on”-like hum.

“Any sweet spots I should know about you?”, he suddenly asked, almost forcefully recusing from her.  
She smirked, having detected his motive. “Go find it out yourself.”  
He grinned. “Oh, I so hoped you’d say that.” That was the moment his hand found the clasp of her bra. He caught her eyes, asking for permission. “May I?”  
She gave him a nod. The fact he never broke eye contact with her while getting her out of her bra meant a lot to her, probably more she could even express.   
He lowered his head almost instantly, his lips finding a spot under her clavicle to kiss and nibble at. She smiled and exhaled with a sign.   
“Oh this is definitely one”, he slurred which caused her to chuckle. He travelled lower and she felt her body responding, her limbs already turning weak. As his lips found her breast and he swirled around her nipple, she made a purring sound at the tickle running sporadically through her.   
“God I missed this”, she breathed, almost inaudible while enjoying the little sparks shooting through her nerves.   
“This?” He softly pinched her left one and her purr turned into a rumble.   
“Mhm”, was all she could get out.

After what felt like a wonderful eternity, her mind clouded and dizzy by his doings, she took a deep breath.   
“Listen, as much as I enjoy this, this isn’t only about me. Tell me what YOU li …” He interrupted her with a forceful kiss and pinning her down, again.   
“No. Not about me. Wanna make you come.”  
Her head snapped back and she gazed at him. “Are we getting dirty now?”  
His blue eyes sparkled. “Well, IF we do, let me take this opportunity and let me get a co …”  
“No.” She stilled him. “I suppose you’re clean?”  
He nodded.   
“Good.” She kissed him again and smiled. “So no need to.”   
He looked at her, still a little unsure. “Are you sure?”  
“Got an IUD.”  
That seemed to put his mind to rest. He signed into her neck. “Thanks.”  
She smiled and couldn’t help the tease. “I know you guys like it a lot more without that … barrier.”  
She felt him chuckle. “Hmh.” He pressed a kiss under her ear. “It’s true. Feels more natural.”  
She snorted. “For some old people we are doing a pretty good job at dirty talk.”   
He pulled back to look at her. “Old? We’re not old. We’re mature.”  
“I might need some proof of that …” She bit her lip. Very slowly. The way his eyes darkened, more than before, she knew that still got a man’s attention.   
“Your wish is my demand.”  
He didn’t wait another second and moved lower while kissing his way down her stomach. Every. Single. Inch.   
Hollis closed her eyes and tried to control her breath - an impossible mission.

A kiss right next to her pelvic bone. She shivered, felt her muscles contract. His hand lightly caressing her hip on the other side, fingertips tracing patterns along it. She wanted to say something, wanted him so desperately to just get.to.the.point., but she wouldn’t beg, and more over she wouldn’t let him think he might turn up the pace. He was moving slow, gentle and teasing, as if he were inspecting every inch, every wrinkle of her body.   
It turned her on.   
And she loved and both hated it.   
Another kiss at the inside of her thighs. She curled her toes, prepared for his touch. Another kiss, and another, teasingly getting closer. And closer. His hands were somewhere else, doing miraculous things on their own, and Hollis really had no idea on which body part of his – or hers – she should concentrate.   
Just as she thought she couldn’t take it any longer, his lips touched her center. She inhaled hastily, simultaneously gripping the bedsheets.   
And then she couldn’t hold back the laugh at her own reaction. Clint cooked his head.   
“You okay?”, he chuckled.   
“Yes”, she gave back, feeling incredibly lightheaded all of a sudden. “Little sensitive today.”   
“Don’t worry I’m taking the credit.”  
She gave him a lap against his shoulder only to rest there. “Don’t be smug.”   
That sentence brought her a bite in her inner thigh and she jumped a second time.   
“Silence Mylady”, he grumbled, his voice deliciously grumpy and teasing. Hollis leaned back and relaxed – as much as that was possible.   
And she decided to let it flow, to surrender, to trust him. Because, yes, she did that.

She signed at his next touch, her body writhing and squirming under him, but even if she would have wanted to move, she knew she had no chance.   
“You really know what you’re doing”, she panted, fighting to keep her breathe even.   
She literally felt him chuckle. “I’m a doctor.”   
Her legs quivered. “Don’t keep blaming everything on the job!”   
“It’s true.” The grin he gave her was a Cheshire one. Especially in THAT position they were in. “Know some specialties of women other men probably don’t.”   
“Oh yeah?” She swallowed. “What for example?”  
He stilled. She kept herself from dragging him back. “You cannot possibly want me to talk while I’m doing what I’m doing.”  
She made a disapproving noise. “Oh no.”  
And luckily he went on with his very gentle assault just a second later.

“If you keep doing that I might not even last just half as long as usual”, she got out.  
“Take that as an advantage?”  
“Oh yeah”, she whispered, the word ending in an involuntary moan.   
She wouldn’t be able to take that any minute longer.   
“Clint …” She spoke it like a warning. She wanted more. This was enough slowness for her. “Come back here.”  
His tongue grazed her another time and she jolted. “Now!”  
He shot her a smirk. “We getting bossy here?”  
“No”, she gritted out. “Unsettled.”

He did her the favor and was hovering above her only a moment later. “Hi beautiful.”  
Hollis took a deep breath. “How the hell can you maintain this?”, she asked.   
“Oh I’m struggling, believe me.” He bend his head to kiss her throat. The second she felt his teeth graze her skin, his fingers came to play. This time she didn’t hold back the moan and bit her lip.   
“I told you”, he whispered, breath tickling right under her ear. “I’ve some in store for foreplay.”   
God, and this “foreplay” was already better than most of the sex she had had in years.

 _Focus,_ she forced herself. _Focus_.   
It took her all strength and self composure to bring her hand between them, to reach down and pay him back.   
And she did it well. He let out a breathy laugh. And she grinned.   
“You really wouldn’t have thought I’d let you do that without me taking my chances.”

She wasn’t sure how long they both played that game, this back-and-forth, teasing each other in those _adult_ ways, but she knew time had come.   
“I’m ready”, she whispered just low enough for him to hear. That was all the information he needed, enough confirmation.   
It took just seconds, one single move of his to press all air out of her lungs. She squinted her eyes at the painful sensation, her body wanting her to wince, and she couldn’t help the small gasp escaping her lips.   
He stilled and gave her a concerned look, eyes moving rapidly.   
She blinked and gave him a nod. “It’s okay”, she got out hastily. “Just … give me some time.”

He did. He didn’t move a single inch until she relaxed, until they locked eyes again.

It usually and had always felt different, almost strained, with a new partner.   
Not this time, though. Every single second, every move send sparks trough her, every nerve’s ending lighting up in fire, and she _enjoyed_ it. Every judder of his muscle, his hand on her back, the way he was pressing her close and releasing her, his breath on her skin, just being close to him, with him.  
He was gentle. Gentle and caring, and yet not too shy to hesitate.

They changed positions and she flipped over, but it wasn’t really her doing, more as if … if he wanted to give her a chance to determine the pace.   
Hell, it was sweet. But it wasn’t what she wanted. Honestly, she had never liked the on-top position, even though many had thought, due to her fable to control everything. For her, THIS made her feel vulnerable and exposed, even though she actually had the upper hand now, but she was confident – and skilled - enough to please her partner. She didn’t need a position for that.

Just a moment later he proved that he was indeed different than any other guys.   
In the blink of an eye his arm was around her, hand on the small of her back, and he sat up straight. She gasped at the sudden change of movement and as he pulled her close, they kept eye contact for a moment. Green burning into blue and vice versa.   
Their mouths found each other as if they were two opposite magnets, meeting in a loving kiss. Her senses were awake, her muscles taunt and tense, heart fluttering. She was feeling SO MUCH all at once she couldn’t quite focus.   
She rolled her hips and he moaned in reaction. His hand was on her lower back, the pressure on it almost painful, but she didn’t mind, and she didn’t want it different. He _held_ her, in every sense of the word, and that was something she liked. She liked being in control, but she needed someone to catch her if she fell. And she hadn’t really had that ever before.   
But … maybe that was changing now.

She dug her fingernails into his skin as he leaned into the crook of her neck, his hot breath tickling along her neck, heat meeting sweat. She moved her hips one more time, slightly changed the angle. And suddenly he stilled her with his palm on her hip.   
“Slow down Holly”, a whisper came, he was clearly fighting with his breath.   
“Why”, she gave back, not really wanting too.   
“I won’t be able to last”, he gave back, panting. Despite the tension and her own body’s shutters, she grinned. “Doesn’t matter. Don’t worry.” She leaned forward and took his lower lip between her teeth, then softly took a bite. He groaned, gave another trust, one that shot a wave of pure fire to her groin. “Let go”, she whispered. “Do it. Do it for me.”   
He flipped them over, and for a moment, everything changed into something wilder, something more driven, and she gasped. His hands moved down her back and clawed at her hips as if she were his lifeline in the middle of a hurricane. She did the same, clinging into his shoulder at the same time, squeezing her eyes.

He gave in to his release with a low grunt and a moan, and his hands shivered as he slowly released the death grip he had on her. Hollis opened her eyes to get rid of the dizziness which had formed in front of her eyes, feeling him relax above her.

She hadn’t been with him, but for once she wasn’t annoyed by it. The journey was the destination, and it was enough for her.   
His forehead fell on hers as he exhaled, and they stayed like this for what felt like almost a whole thirty seconds.

“I’m sorry.”   
“For what?” She moved her fingertips along his back, easing his muscles.   
He smiled in excuse. “For … reaching the height before you did.”   
She shook her head. “That’s nothing to apologize for. And overall …” She smiled. “It’s not only men who enjoy pleasing their partner.”   
“Yes, but …”  
“Hey. Stop it.” She cupped his jaw with both her hands and fixed her gaze on him. “I am more than fine, you get that?”   
He signed, but something in the way he did showed her he finally believed her. “God, you’re perfect.” Her heart jumped and warmed in a complete different way than before, and she couldn’t help but admire the sated look on his face as he flopped down next to her.   
SHE had done that.

He pulled her close by the waist and they kissed again, hands running over each other’s body, exploring every line, every inch.   
Until he moved them around so he was hoovering above her, again.   
She batted her eyelids. “What are you doing?”   
“Making it up to you know.” A kiss to the top of her nose followed, then he looked into her eyes. “May I try something?”  
She smirked. “Depends.”  
He did the same. “It won’t hurt, I promise.”   
Oh she was sure about that.   
“Raspberry, coconut or honey?”, he asked as he slid off the bed. She wrinkled her forehead. NOW she was confused. “What?”  
“Hm. You’re a coco-pine type.”  
She chuckled. “What are you talking about?”  
“Sh. Close your eyes.”  
She did and made herself comfortable. He was a little commanding, truth be told, but it was a nice and comfortable and sweet way.

Suddenly, without warning, something soft, smooth and slightly tickling touched her skin. Something which send her tense and covered in goosebumps from head to toe. She jolted. “Holy what is …”  
“Shhh”, came his response. “Relax and enjoy.”   
She signed, smiling, and whispered a silent “okay”.

She “relaxed” for a minute. A minute until his hands, his tongue and his hands were too much for her to handle and she opened her eyes, allowing herself to steal a glimpse. And she blinked in amazement. Her skin was glimmering in a golden, shiny way as if a thousand little pieces or stars were covering it.   
She blinked as the realization slowly settled in. “Is that what I think it is?”  
“Try it.” He dipped his little finger into a little box and held it in front of her lips. He probably had expected her to lick it off his finger, but she did something else. She took his hand and used it to smear it on his upper lip. She adored the slightly confused look on his face and leaned forward to nip at it, let her tongue move along his lip and savored the taste.   
He then surprised her as he kissed her back immediately, fiercely, almost desperate to regain the control. She didn’t mind it, though.   
His lips travelled lower, down her neck, her collarbones, and found its destination on her breasts. Hollis signed as he licked the honey dost from her sensitive skin, neck softly pinching her nipples in an almost perfect way.   
It still wasn’t enough thought, so she reached down to help herself along as he caught her. Her eyes snapped open and she looked up at him, not quite sure if she should feel caught.   
But then he did something she hadn’t expected at all, nor had it ever happened to her. He simply placed his own hand on hers and gave her a nod.   
“Show me”, he whispered. “Show me so I can learn.” It wasn’t a whisper of sultriness or that scream-for-me-tone, not at all. It was caring. Caring and pure interest.   
She did.   
“That?” He gently replaced her fingers with his and her eyes fell shut fluttering.   
“Yes.” That was the last word escaping her lips.

This time it payed off for her. In many, many ways.   
Her body was still vibrating and slowly slowing down in its ecstasy, her muscles relaxing in slow-motion. She had never been the overly vocal type in the bedroom and she had contemplated about telling him, but then decided to leave it that way. He’d ask her if he was unsure.  
He didn’t, though, and she was glad for it. All he did was being a wonderful and perfect lover.   
She opened her eyes, facing Clint who was smiling down at her, eyes radiating clear and crystal blue.   
“You are beautiful”, he said while kissing her cheek and resting on her forehead. She smiled, still shivering, and slowly

“Thank you”, she whispered and ran her hands along his arms. “For that ...” She signed satedly. “… awesome orgasm.” That brought a laughter out of him.   
“Oh, thank YOU for letting me.” He was laying down next to her, propped up on one arm, the other reaching out for softly running his fingers over her tummy.   
Her pulse was still beating as if she had run a marathon and she was sure he could feel it.

It happened without any warning. Her eyes became glazy and before she could move a tear ran down her cheek.   
“Oh god.” Embarrassed and confused she whipped it away, not missing his concerned expression. His hand stilled on her hipbone.   
“Hey. Is everything okay?”  
“Yes, yes it is.” She nodded, trying to laugh but it didn’t really work how she wanted it to. “It’s just …” She took a deep breath and turned to caress his cheek. “I have just realized I’m not used to this. To … be with someone who makes me feel … loved. Not only wanted.”

Their eyes locked once again, staring deep into their souls, as a smile curved his lip upwards. She reached out to travel along his jaw, fingernail grazing his lip.   
And then it hit her.   
When they were standing in the bathroom, he had said it for the first time.   
“Clint.” Her hand made a caressing move along his cheek and her heart pounded against her ribcage as she whispered those very, important words. “I love you. I love you and I am in love with you.”  
The little curve turned into a smile. “Well that’s good.” He grabbed her hand and entvined their fingers before kissing her knuckles. “Because I love you, too.”   
She wasn’t sure how to describe the sound leaving her throat – mostly it was a mixture between joy, luck, and the overwhelming feeling that this time she might have found someone who really, really meant it.

…

“How did you know?”   
He was on his back, his arm curled around her waist, her head on his shoulder.   
“What?”  
“That I wasn’t comfortable with the Cowgirl-pose.” She made circling moves along his chest and he didn’t seem to mind it.   
“I already figured you’d like a good face off.” He squinted his eyes. “Or was it simply called The Rider?”  
“You know what I think?” She turned back on her stomach, though carefully paying attention to not slip away too far. “It would be really interesting googling positions with you.”   
He chuckled. “Why is that?”   
“Because you have that talent to neither dull tension but to make a fun comment so it doesn’t get strained or awkward.”

The lightheartedness disappeared from his features, replaced by gentleness.   
“You know, I … I just knew. There was a change in your eyes, your whole body. You were so tense all of a sudden.”

They fell quite, again. Hollis didn’t know how long, she had closed her eyes, and just enjoyed the whole athmosphere. Until he cleared his throat.   
“Are you always … that sweet?”  
She felt a big smirk spreading out on her lips and she _knew_ he was watching her. “You mean because I don’t vocalize every second?”  
It took him a whole three seconds to answer. “Yeah.”   
“Usually. I’ve never been a screamer.”   
That coaxed a laughter out of him. “Wow. I really am dating the honesty in person.” He nuzzled his face in her neck. “It’s actually quiet nice, you know.” He slipped his hand further around her and pulled her a little closer. “Makes it feel more intimate. Less lust-driven.”   
She nodded. “I know what you mean.” She kissed him and gently placed her hand on his heart. She could feel the beet, let it seep through her bones, enjoyed being so close to him, with him.

She knew she had to tell him. That was something she appreciated, and some thing just had to be vocalized.   
“Thanks for … you know, being attentive.”   
“Oh, thank YOU. I mean, that thing you did with your hip.” He rolled his eyes. “God, that was something I’ll never forget.”   
She giggled and snuggled closer, her fingernails scraping over his chest.   
“I may have developed that a little over the years.”

“Ever had angry sex?”, he suddenly asked her.   
She nodded. “Yes. I had.”   
Was it only her imagination or did he still?  
“Way too often.”   
He turned his head. Suddenly he seemed extremely careful and tentative. “May I ask why?”  
“Why do you wanna know?”, she asked softly so he wouldn’t misinterpret it.   
She felt his shoulder vibrate as he shrugged. “I just don’t want to use it as a way of … loosing aggression.”   
She gave him a smile. “Don’t worry. I have other methods for that.”  
“Such as?”  
“The gym”, she deadpanned, closing her eyes and inhaling his scent.   
“The gym of some poor guy’s ass you kick?”  
“Both of it.”   
He chuckled. “Can totally imagine that” A tug around her shoulders. “I might come by some time.”  
She made a noise. “Oh please, you don’t want to see me all sweaty and worked out.”   
Something, she didn’t know why, made her look up. His eyes were pure smug as he spoke. “Oh you know, guys have a weakness for strong, toned women in tight clothes and covered in sweat …”  
Without warning he tickled her and she jolted.  
“Stop it.”   
A grin.   
A wide, devilish grin. “What if I don’t?”   
He wandered along the waistline, still tickling. A laughter escaped her throat.   
“Clint.”   
Now he chuckled, too. “You get these cute little wrinkles around your eyes when you laugh.”  
He softly pinched her waist and she winched. “Stop it.” Another attack, another gasp. “I warn you, I could …”   
He didn’t stop, and she didn’t keep him from it. She could, though. And the fact that he _knew_ and he trusted her in not hurting him … was something that showed her they had already built the most important, solid ground for whatever they were in the way of pulling up.   
Trust.

They ended on both their sides, him big spooned behind her, his hand resting on her hip, lips kissing her shoulder. He was so tender, so attentive and sweet it almost felt surreal.

“Thank you for choosing me. I consider myself …” He kissed her forehead. “A very lucky guy.”  
She smiled as he pulled her into a nice, snuggling and comfortable position they could find some sleep in. "And thank you for making me laugh.”

She couldn’t care less about any crimes or hate or horrible events that might cross their paths soon again.   
As long as they had each other, nothing could break them.

*

The next morning she woke up before him and decided to prepare breakfast.

In the middle of pouring joghurt inside her cereal bowl and reaching for the berries and the oatmeals she felt his presence behind her.   
“Morning Darling.” He stepped behind her. His kisses started on her neck, hands slide around her arms, and she leaned back to enjoy his lips which were on her throat now.

Since a very long time, she was happy. Truly, comfortably happy.


End file.
